Parenting

Father Shared Pics Holding His Son Over The Years And It Set People Off

The relationship between parents and children are incredibly different across cultures, but in the U.S., we seem to have a lot of issues around how dads interact with their sons. Dads are supposed to teach their sons three things: catch, car, fight bear. I mean, I’m exaggerating, but not really. Dads are often treated like they’re weird for wanting to show their kids affection, especially their sons, and it’s really sad.

Father Eric Owens seems to have escaped this trap. Unfortunately, his post about his sweet relationship with his son isn’t being understood the way it should be by everyone who has seen it. Owens posted a composite of four pics of him with his kid on Facebook, and captioned it “18 years later and he still under my arm.”

It starts with him and an adorable baby boy being held:

And then an adorable baby passed out:

And an adorable baby having a bottle:

And a slightly angsty teen hanging with dad as dad looks at his phone:

To me, this seems like a normal amount of affection between a parent and their child, but it set off something ugly in the comments. A bunch of people (mostly men) jumped in to say the images were wrong. They thought that this might be okay between a mother and daughter, but a grown man can’t hug his own child!

ithelpstodream/Tumblr

The images and the responses were captured by Tumblr user ithelpstodream, who thought they were a perfect example of “toxic masculinity.” They shared them with this analysis:

I want to use this post to clear something up. When I talk about toxic masculinity it always causes a big backlash, and I’ve noticed it’s mainly because men don’t know what it means. When I say I hate toxic masculinity, I do not mean that I hate that you’re a man or that I hate masculinity.

Toxic masculinity is THIS. Toxic masculinity is when men reinforce the idea that men should suppress and ignore softer displays of emotions that are associated with women. Toxic masculinity is reinforcing the fear of physical affection between men because it makes them appear too feminine or even ‘homosexual’.

It has to stop. Let men cry. Let men hold each other. Stop perceiving things that are ‘feminine’ as weak because outing your emotions is not weakness, it’s strength.

So true. And I also suspect that Eric Owens and his son don’t care at all what people think, because they have a healthy understanding of how to love and support one another. 

More toxic masculinity:

Aimeé Lutkin