We’ve all gotten into silly arguments with our significant others, but hopefully, it doesn’t end with you being left on the side of the road.
One Redditor found herself in a frustrating situation when she went to help her boyfriend who thought he had a flat tire. Upon her arrival, she discovered it was much worse, but her boyfriend rudely disagreed.
So, what was she to do? She left him right there on the side of the road.
After reflecting on her decision, she turned to the popular subreddit “Am I The A**hole?” (AITA) to find out if she was right in going about it the way she did. Here’s what she said:
AITA for leaving my boyfriend on the side of the road?
OP Explains:
“I (26 f) and my boyfriend Nick (27 m) have been dating for almost a year and something that has always bothered me is how Nick does not believe in maintaining or taking care of his vehicles.”
“Background: To give some context Nick bought his car brand new about five years ago and has put about 70,000 miles on the vehicle. Since purchasing the vehicle he has never had an oil change nor does he do any kind of regular maintenance. I would like to clarify by saying Nick’s refusal to maintain his vehicle is not due to any kind of financial insecurity, Nick has an incredible job that pays him very fairly.
As a hobby and side job, I like to restore vehicles for a profit, I am by no means a mechanic I mostly clean up the vehicles, and do bodywork and paint restoration. However, I do have a pretty fundamental understanding of cars and I know how to do the basics.”
Story: Nick called me yesterday on my day off and told me he was about 10 minutes from my house and that he had a flat tire and asked if I could come to help him out. I grabbed my tool bag and headed out.
When I got there Nick did not only have a flat tire but his front left rotor was cracked (rotor is part of the car’s breaks) and his rim was bent to hell. I was telling Nick that his car was undrivable and that he needed to call a tow, Nick started arguing with me telling me that it was just a flat tire and that it was not a big deal.
I tried showing Nick how bad the damage was but he insisted I was overreacting and that he just needed me to change the tire. I refused and in Nick‘s own words I started mothering him on how poorly he takes care of his car.
The argument got heated and Nick lashed out at me and started saying things like “Just because you have a set of pink tools and watch YouTube doesn’t make you a fucking mechanic.”
After Nick said this I started to pack up my tools and told him that he was right, I’m not a mechanic but that he should probably call one because I’m not changing his tire. I left Nick on the side of the road and he refuses to talk to me until I apologize for abandoning him, am I the asshole?
The Following Are Acceptable Responses:
NTA – Not the A**hole
YTA – You’re the A**hole
NAH – No A**holes Here
ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Commenters Overrwhelmingly Responded NTA:
1.
“So to summarise:
-Your bf asked for your help
-You offered help, informed him of the seriousness of the problem
-bf didn’t like your answer, told you what to do even though you know better
this became heated
your bf was extremely offensive
you rightly left him
I’ll be blunt you bf seriously sucks. To blow up over this is a BIG red flag.
You’re NTA.
Good luck with your car hobby though, sounds awesome! Do you ever get your hands on classics?”
OP Replied:
I WISH! I mostly buy and work on cars that are under 10k and try to sell them for a 20-30% profit. Subaru, old Fords and classic Chevys have a special place in my heart though.
2.
NTA. He has a lot of nerve, picking a fight with someone he called for help.
3.
NTA. He’s put 70,000 miles on his car and has never changed the oil? WTF? I’m amazed the car still runs.
if you like to work on cars, then you won’t want to be with someone that’s that cavalier about car repair and maintenance. And that’s unforgivable of him to insult you like that with the “pink tools” comment.
I think it’s time to leave the boyfriend, and not just his car, by the side of the road.
4.
Kick his ass to the curb, NTA
But he’s already there
5.
NTA. And yikes! If he won’t maintain a high-end purchase, how does he treat his home? He has made fun of your car knowledge, yelled at you for making an accurate statement about his broken car, and demanded an apology…none of which you deserved.
OP Replied:
I’m gonna answer your question with way more detail than you asked for. I was raised by a single mom, I never had a father figure growing up. When something would break in our house I would teach myself how to fix it and my mother always encouraged me to chase how mechanically inclined I was.
After I met Nick‘s parents me and his father really bonded over our love for cars and our love for fixing them, Every time I would go over to Nick‘s parents house me and his father would inevitably end up in the garage tinkering. Nick has always been insecure about how quickly me and his father developed a relationship, Nick obviously is not very mechanically inclined and has never shown any interest in cars. The relationship I have with Nick‘s father has been a source spot in our relationship for a long time and I think is why Nick lashed out the other day.
6.
“NTA. He refuses to listen to someone with more knowledge. I am loathed to use the word but it almost sounds like he was doing the typical “mansplaining”. Tools are tools regardless of color.”
7.
NTA and don’t call. Condescending language, lacking gratitude, and an inability to plan will creep into every aspect of his life. Humans can compartmentalize behavior but soon it colors all we do. Doesn’t that sound like fun!?
He is quick to demand others fix his problems. Is this the partner you want? Life requires we navigate adversity. He disrespects you and will not pull his weight while expecting you to do double. Best to you and apologies were given you did not ask for relationship input; I couldn’t help myself.
8.
Here’s a life rule: “Don’t ever date someone who doesn’t treat you like an equal.” (or recognize when you have superior knowledge.)
NTA
9.
NTA according to him your pink tools and YouTube views can’t help, so why try? Nick should call a “real” mechanic. If anything you obviously did him a favor by getting out of the way
10.
NTA, for all reasons people have said.
I am going to say, I am so jealous that you are so mechanically inclined! My MIL has an old Pontiac (like, 1967, but I don’t know the model), and she’s promised it me (my husband and his brother don’t like working on cars). Only problem is I am not completely mechanically inclined and I wanna fix it up.so badly!
There’s literally no point to this post but good on you! Also, tell him to eat rocks.
OP Replied:
I started out with YouTube there are a lot of great resources on there, start with the basics and you’ll get your confidence in no time.