Kate Hackett
Navigating the family of someone you’re involved with can be a very tricky endeavor. After all, you were raised by an entirely different set of people with an entirely different set of mores. It’s tough to just drop into the middle of someone else’s family — but that’s what we ask of ourselves when we meet someone we love.
Redditor u/SafePurple2911 recently had an altercation with her boyfriend’s family that goes even beyond just a little awkwardness.
OP explains that she and her BF moved in with his dad last year. Her boyfriend has helped her out with the purchase of a new car, which has since been repaid.
Last year I moved in with my bf and his dad. My bf and I were in a long distance relationship for a few years and I moved across the country to be with him after I finished graduate school. Due to such a large distance I opted to sell my car and buy a new one after moving. When I did this my boyfriend helped me out by loaning me some money to help pay the down payment but I have since payed him back.
Last week, OP’s boyfriend’s sister visited. OP liked her well enough but didn’t get to know the sister very well.
Last week my bfs older sister who lives in another state came to visit and stayed in the house with us. This was my first time meeting her and I thought she was very nice, but I didn’t get to know her well.
While she and her BF were running errands, OP’s sister asked to borrow his car, but since he was using it, he asked OP if the sister could use her car.
Two days ago my bf and I were out running errands together and his sister called him to ask when he would be back so she could borrow his car to go hangout with her friends in a town about an hour away. He told her it would be a while and she then asked if it was okay to borrow my car.
OP, and then the boyfriend, told the sister no.
My boyfriend asked me and I told him I was not comfortable with that and to tell her no. My boyfriend did tell her no, I heard the entire conversation.
But when they got home, OP’s car was gone. Everyone was pretty stunned to learn that the boyfriend’s DAD gave the sister a key.
Well a few hours later my boyfriend and I got home and my car was gone. I was shocked and my boyfriend was confused. When we went into the house his dad informed us that he gave my bfs sister the spare key to my car that was in the lockbox because she said she needed to go somewhere.
OP’s boyfriend told his dad that they said no to the ask …but Dad had figured that since BF helped pay for it, sister could drive it (??? the logic!)
My boyfriend told him that she asked to drive my car and that we had told her no so he didn’t understand why she was allowed to take it and his dad said that since my bf helped pay for the car that it therefore was partly his, which meant his sister had the right to drive it as well.
Furious, OP points out that she’s the only one on the title — it’s HER CAR.
I was absolutely livid and I couldn’t believe that anyone would do something like this. My name is the only one on the title, insurance, etc. as I am the SOLE owner.
OP’s boyfriend told his dad to get his sister back immediately. The sister said she’d be back soon, but after two hours OP just called the police.
My bf told his dad to call her and tell her to bring my car back immediately and she said she would “be home soon.” Well after two hours I called the police and reported my car stolen because I was worried that if it got damaged or something then I would be forced to pay the repairs even though it wasn’t my fault.
The dad and sister were furious and even OP’s boyfriend thinks that she may have gone a little too far.
My bf’s dad and sister were pissed about this and they accused me of trying to get them arrested. They are now demanding that I apologize to them and tell the police it was all a misunderstanding but I really don’t want to because I feel that they’ve tried to take advantage of me. My boyfriend agrees with me but he even said he thinks calling the police to report the car stolen may have been too far. AITA?
So — what do we think?
I’m firmly in the not an asshole camp: this poster did nothing wrong, and certainly nothing I wouldn’t do if my property was — let’s call it what it is — stolen.
“NTA. It wasn’t a misunderstanding. She straight up stole your car. If she had gotten arrested, she’d have no one to blame but herself. Also, considering what an AH your bf’s dad is, you should probably look into moving out as soon as you can,” said one Redditor.
Another person wondered, “If they don’t want to be accused of stealing then maybe they shouldn’t take someone else’s property without permission?”
