Bipolar Woman Gives Away Her Plants During Manic Episode But Neighbor Won’t Return Them And Asks ‘AITA’

I can’t fathom being this callous, but u/noreferenceforyou sure is! This person took to Reddit to get some opinions on whether they were an ass for stealing their neighbor’s garden and the answer is so much YES YOU ARE it hurts.

OP opens with an introduction to herself and her semi-friendly neighbors, one of whom was working on a new garden.

I live next to a couple whom I’m friendly with but not much past “how are you” and chat about things in the neighborhood. Last week I was out for a morning walk and noticed Amber lugging a butt ton of plants from her backyard to her porch. She said hello so I stopped by to chat and see if she needed help. Looked like she was starting her own landscaping company!

The neighbor explained that she had been planning the new garden for months and was ripping everything out and putting it on the curb.

Turns out she finally felt inspired to work on the new garden she’s been planning for months. She ripped out everything she currently had and was going to put it on the curb as freebies.

OP was thrilled! They felt like they struck gold and was happy to wheelbarrow over everything to her backyard. OP offered to pay but the neighbor refused. She planted everything over the weekend.

I’ve always wanted to turn my lawn into a nice garden so I felt like I struck gold! I offered to pay her because there was a substantial amount of shrubbery but she refused. I wheelbarrowed everything over to my backyard, brought her some pastries as a thank you, offered cash again or to help with her new garden, she refused, and that was that. I spent the weekend with my boyfriend replanting everything and our backyard looks great!

Yesterday, the neighbor’s husband knocked on the door and explained that the neighbor had been on a manic episode and struggling with bipolar.

…Until I get a knock on my door yesterday from her husband. Turns out (he said she gave permission for him to tell me this) she struggles with bipolar and was going through a manic episode.

There is no new garden and she is embarrassed to talk to OP about it. The garden was her joy and in a manic episode, the neighbor had ruined it.

There is no “new garden” that she’s been plotting for months, just a bipolar-induced attack on their backyard that she now regrets. She’s too embarrassed to talk to me herself – I get it, I struggle with depression up the asshole and the fewer people I have the explain myself to, the better – but she wants her plants back. Apparently that garden was her baby and in a fit of mania, she destroyed it.

OP felt bad for the neighbor but everything was planted; she told the husband she wouldn’t dig it all back up.

I’m sad for her because shitty decisions when you’re in the mental toilet suck but like… everything is already planted in my backyard and I’m not willing to put in the effort to dig everything up. It’ll look awful, and yeah that’s what they’re dealing with now but it’s not my fault. I nicely told him pretty much that and he just said okay and left.

The neighbors now totally ignore her and OP’s boyfriend thinks they should give back at least some of the plants.

Now when I see them they completely ignore me. I’ve crossed paths with them three times since and her husband waved but she didn’t even look at me. I saw them taking soil and compost bags out of their car today and Amber just looked really upset and not at all excited to be working on a new garden. My boyfriend thinks I should offer to give at least some of them back because I’m not exaggerating, she gave me a TON of plants.

Here is where OP loses me:

I just don’t want her to think she can be rude to me after her mistake then get what she wants. AITA?

The neighbor woman is a grown adult. It’s not your job to teach her a lesson.

Edit: read through the business y’all sent me and I’ve decided I’m going to give her a $100 gift card to our local nursery and see if she wants help planting. Someone made a great point that these plants will likely be dead within a week lol especially if they get moved again.

Fortunately, OP does seem like an okay person and took the advice of Reddit. She’ll be making amends.

One person agreed with me entirely, “She’s not being rude, she’s embarrassed and now trying to reconstruct what she destroyed. She’s gutted. She feels like shit, and while you were under no obligation to return the plants.. It wouldn’t have been unreasonable to meet her in the middle and let her reclaim her most precious ones. Y’all might have even collaborated on your garden and you could’ve had a good gardening ally.”