Kate Hackett
Can this particular story turn off my “brides and grooms suck so hard” bias? Let’s find out, friends!
We have a tale from a bride who openly admits going “bridezilla” (a term I hate because it’s as misogynistic as “Karen”) so I would say we’re already off to a rough start. But let’s let u/bridezillaaita3 tell her story herself, shall we?
I (27 F) got married a month ago. My dress was this long, lacy gown that my mom wore at her wedding. My mom passed away about 2 years ago.
OP shares that her wedding dress was her recently-deceased mother’s wedding dress. Okay, so, SUPER important. Absolutely on board.
Because the dress was so important to me, I had a big plan to keep it safe from any damages. I would only wear the dress at the wedding itself, and I would switch to a more casual dress for the reception. When I was wearing the dress, I wouldn’t eat or drink anything except water, and I would stay inside at all times.
The bride gave herself pretty severe restrictions to keep the dress clean; because it’s so important to her, she did not want to risk damaging. I absolutely understand that.
I promise I’m not usually this crazy about cleanliness, but this was my mom’s dress, and the thought of it being damaged broke my heart. But I also knew I wanted to wear it when I got married to have a piece of her with me. She adored this dress and always dreamed I would wear it.
My bridesmaids knew very well about my particularities with the dress. I had a room above the venue where I was getting ready. My dress was hanging in a safe place in the room.
She also told the bridesmaids what was up: the fastidiousness about the dress, the reason for the fastidiousness about the dress. Everyone knew. Everyone got it. I respect this so far.
On the day of the wedding, I went down to check on something for the wedding, leaving my bridesmaids in the room. Here’s what happened, as they told it to me:
And then. OP shares that with her out of the room, the bridesmaids opened some pinot noir. Anna, a bridesmaid, wanted to see the dress.
They opened a bottle of Pinot Noir (my favorite) as a celebration. They poured themselves glasses and began to walk around checking out the room. One of my bridesmaids, “Anna,” (27 F) wanted to get a closer look at my dress. She got really close to it, and she started touching the lace.
Anna got up close and started touching it and…
Somehow, her hand holding the wine glass slipped, and wine spilled all over the bottom of the dress.
The glass slipped; Anna spilt wine all over the bottom of the gown.
When I came upstairs, they told me what happened, and I started sobbing. My maid of honor called several professional cleaners, and they said there was no way they could get the dress in before the wedding. They told us ways to save the dress until we could get it into them, so my MOH started doing that.
OP returned and the maid of honor leapt into action to save the dress, but OP was furious. She asked Anna what she was thinking.
After that call, I became extremely angry. I asked “Anna” what the hell she was doing holding red wine so close to my dress when she knew how careful I was being.
Instead of apologizing, Anna just… dismissed it? How weird.
She dismissed it and said it wasn’t such a big deal because I was planning to wear the dress, so it could have gotten damaged that way too.
I couldn’t believe she said that. I called her thoughtless and careless and stupid. I told her that she was no longer part of the wedding and that I wanted her to leave. She left, and neither of us have reached out to the other since.
OP severed ties with Anna, asking her to leave the wedding and got married in a different dress, which meant she didn’t get to have Mom “with” her on the day.
I got married in the dress I had planned to wear for the reception, and I was heartbroken not to be wearing my mom’s dress. After the wedding, my bridesmaids joked that I was a bridezilla for kicking “Anna” out after she made a “honest mistake.”
Her friends teased her about her response but OP is pretty sure she’s in the clear.
I absolutely don’t think I’m the AH or a bridezilla because Anna’s reaction was so horrible and insincere. But I wanted to get the story off my chest and ask some people who might be more impartial, AITA?
I admit: I’m not sure. If this came about ENTIRELY this way and Anna’s reaction was really that cavalier, you know, I get it. I probably wouldn’t want to be pals with her either anymore.
