Have you ever known someone who had an incredibly cruel sense of humor? Like, this person would “play pranks” on others which would often result in tears or panic attacks?
Yeah, that’s a bully. Or an abuser. Comedy should never make someone question their sanity or be traumatic.
One Redditor has a husband who is that kind of person—and he tends to “play pranks” on her regarding their dog.
The OP explains that she and her husband have been married for a year. Before she met him, she inherited her sister’s dog Ollie when her sister passed away. Everyone loves Ollie, he is apparently a very good dog.
The OP’s husband likes making jokes and doing pranks, she says, “but some of them are downright nasty.”
“He’d always get me worried by lying saying Ollie ran off when he was hiding him in a place I didn’t know about. He knows how much worried and stressed out those pranks make me but he says my reaction is priceless and worth the yelling/lashing afterwards.”
“Ollie needed to be taken to the veterinary clinic for a check-up. My husband said he’d handle it. During the second visit to get the results. I received a call from my husband and his voice sounded like he wasn’t okay. I asked what was wrong. I got really worried after he said it was about Ollie. I was starting to shake I kept asking what was going on and he told me that Ollie’s been diagnosed with cancer. He said he wanted me to come over to the clinic as soon as possible because Ollie was with the vet.”
The OP raced over to the vet and found her husband standing with Ollie—laughing hysterically.
“I was confused he said it was just a prank Ollie is perfectly healthy and handed me the results to check. After I checked I lost it. I lashed out at him. I called him awful names, and his face suddenly turned red like he didn’t expect me to react that way. He argued that I made it a big deal ‘obviously’ and was being mean to him over a prank that didn’t even last an hour. I kept lashing out I didn’t give him a chance to keep talking I took Ollie and the keys then I left. I arrived to the clinic in a taxi. I left him at the clinic while me and Ollie went home by the car.”
A few hours later, the OP’s husband came home and was upset: “Said he was trying to make good memories to look back on and laugh at but I was unnecessarily overreacting.” Oh, so scaring your spouse by telling her the dog is dying of cancer makes a good memory?
“Just wanted to mention that this started months after his father’s passing. His family said he never mentions his dad nor keep anything of his although they were very close. I never met his father but they told me he wasn’t suffering from anything and his death was sudden and my husband had a hard time processing it. This could be the reason for his behavior.”
I don’t think it’s ever acceptable to “joke” about a loved one’s health or laugh at someone’s pain.
What did Redditors suggest this OP should do?
“NTA. This isn’t a prank, this is abuse. He wanted you to feel like your beloved dog was dying. For his amusement. He laughed at your pain. Even him hiding the dog and saying he ran away is unbelievably cruel. His words aside, I think he’s jealous of Ollie. Forget leaving him at the clinic, you should consider leaving his lying, cruel ass entirely,” advised Effulgencey.
“When a person has feelings of genuine terror and distress during a ‘prank,’ it is not a prank, it is bullying. Your husband is a bully who laughs at your pain. Fucking flush him. This post made me so mad at the husband I could feel my face getting red,” said Triatomine.
“OP, I’m not issuing a judgment because I’m concerned. Your husband sounds like he’s escalating. I would get the dog out of the house if possible. Good memories? That makes my skin crawl,” suggested zoeyjax.
“Look at a picture of him and tell it the following sentences:
‘You get off on my misery.’
‘Nothing is funnier to you than my tears and pain.’
‘The more you hurt me the more you laugh.’
‘You hurt me intentionally for a laugh.’
‘You want to hurt me again for a laugh.’
‘You believe me being in misery and pain is a good memory.’
‘You want many good memories of you causing me misery and pain.’
‘You like to look back at the moments you hurt me until I cried and smile.’
‘You find more and more cruel ways to cause me pain for more laughs.’
Say these aloud. Direct them at his smiling picture. Then take a deep breath.
If you now still feel like doing so, calmly tell one or two of these to his face. No tears, no yelling, just blank facts. See what excuses he finds if you believe there’s worth in it. May he shut his cruel, sadist mouth for a long time,” said pokethejellyfish.
“Your husband is a Grade A, Class 1, total and complete AH. What he’s doing is not funny, but abusive, considering how this affects you mentally and physically. You did not, nor do not ‘overreact.’ You had every right to leave him like that and if didn’t like it, then maybe he should be rethinking his idea of humor. If you plan on staying married to this AH, you might want to sit down and have a long discussion about what is and is not funny,” said ArtistanPerspective.
“This type of ‘joking’ is not harmless kidding that you both find amusing. This is a power play on his part. It is abusive. He gets off on you reacting, and since he’s had no real consequences from you (you get mad and then let it go), he feels it’s ok. Its not…and especially since Ollie is your connection to your deceased sister. He’s trying to gaslight you and make himself the victim. This umpire is throwing every red flag she has on this one. He is cruel, not funny,” said mtngrl60.
Featured Image: Pixabay