Kate Hackett
Here’s me, out on a limb with a real brave stance that any time you tell a friend to shut up, you’re probably an asshole.
But hey — you know how I feel about judgment before reviewing all the facts. So let’s give u/Born_Tower_4088 her benefit of the doubt and read her entire story before casting aspersions.
She opens her tale by saying that she and her boyfriend are trying for a baby. A friend also wanted kids, but has since changed her mind due to the expense.
My boyfriend and I are currently trying for a baby and my friend, Analise, knows that. Analise talked a lot about wanting children in the past, but she stopped about a year ago, saying that children are too expensive.
OP says that’s fine, but it’s not all THAT much and this friend makes plenty of money. Okay, OP, strike one. You don’t know anyone else’s financial situation!
Which is all fine, it’s her choice, but she and her husband make a lot of money, so it’s not true that they couldn’t afford to raise a child. They go on some many vacations and even just going on one less per year would cover for a baby’s expenses.
Another friend asked if she still felt this way and OP’s bud said yeah and went on and on about how irresponsible it would be, given the cost.
She, a few other friends an I were hanging out and one of them asked her if she still doesn’t want children. Analise went on about how she can’t afford it, because a child needs this-and-that, a private school, tutoring, a big house, then a gift house when he/she graduates uni, etc and she thinks it would be beyond IRRESPONSIBLE to have a baby when she can’t provide everything to it.
OP believed this to be a marked attack against her, a renter with less income. She said that babies don’t cost THAT much and said couples should make at least a certain amount.
She said all this while I was sitting next to her, fully knowing I’m about to have a baby with much less money and as a renter. At first I just told her that babies don’t cost that much and she can definitely afford one, but then she kept insisting that a couple needs to make at least x amount and I just straight off told her to shut up. She makes 2-3 times as much us we do, so shut up.
And that’s when OP straight up told her to shut up. Real nice, OP.
Analise said she was just answering the question she was asked and she is not trying to push her views on us. But isn’t she, when she literally said I’m being irresponsible? AITA?
Yeah, that’s an asshole from me. Why can’t you just say “I make less than you, why are you on about this?” Direct, simple. Not rude!
Reddit agreed with me, “ESH I am dying that you said “babies don’t cost that much” that is the most delusional sentence ever uttered.”
Another reader wrote, “YTA. I might get downvoted for this, but to me it seems like she was asked if she didn’t want kids and she answered the question, she has a certain vision of how she wants to raise her child and knowing that it’s expensive she’s not having one. She never told you not to have one at your income level.”
