Patricia Grisafi
There’s a time and place for pranks (although as a person who hates practical jokes, I can’t figure out when that is). However, when you’re signing your name to the title of a house — is that really the moment for your partner to break out a series of fake pens that don’t have ink?
Redditors think this joke does not bode well for the OP — who explains in her post that after harassing her to put his name on the title, her fiancé acted in a very strange way when it came time to sign the document.
“I F, 34 have been with my fiance M, 37 for 3 years. Getting married before the end of this year and recently moved in the house that I inherited from my mom. The house is in my name and it took a lot of talking and convincing from him to have his name on the title as well. Now honestly part of me doesn’t think this is a good idea, at least not right now maybe after marriage? But anyway, I’ve decided to go ahead and put his name on the title so he could go ahead and start contributing towards mortgage more and light my burden a little bit,” the OP writes.
“We’ve made appointments, decided on which form of ownership we were basing this on. when it was time for me to sign the deed, my fiance stopped me and gave me a pen saying this pen was his ‘lucky’ pen and told me to use it to sign the deed. I took it and tried to sign but turned out it was empty. He was like ‘oh I must’ve forgotten’ while laughing and then pulled out his ‘other lucky pen.’ I took it, tried to sign and that one too was empty. Honestly, seeing how he was laughing I figured he was messing with me but he swore he wasn’t and pulled out ANOTHER one of his lucky pens. I tried that one too and it was empty.”
“My fiance started cackling and I felt humiliated especially with how the gentleman next to him was staring. I got pissed and asked him what that was about and he said it was a prank. I asked, ‘Really? Did you really think this was a time for pranks?’ He was like, ‘It’s alright you can use “a real pen” now.’ I pushed the paper away and said ‘you know what? Never mind because I no longer want you on the deed.’ He lost it completely saying we had a deal and I can’t back out of it just like that, and that it was a stupid joke that I took too seriously. We had an argument and I refused to sign the deed at least not then and there.”
“At home he blew up again saying I was the one who ‘delayed the process’ and that he already gave me a real pen and all I had to do was sign the ‘damn paper’ and get it over with. He accused me of looking for an excuse not to have him on the deed and started the silent treatment saying there’s nothing to say til those papers are signed. Did I really take this too seriously?”
What do Redditors think? Are these warning signs?
“NTA. Red flags all over. He pressured you into putting him on the deed? That’s weird unless he has selfish motives. My husband literally suggested he not be on the title to my car to maybe help with insurance costs. Because we’re gonna be married anyway, why does it matter? He is very immature. You don’t behave like that at a serious time like that. He wasted everyone’s time. He blew up at you for correctly chastising him instead of acknowledging his own fault and apologizing. He’s giving you the ‘silent treatment’ which is an extremely toxic thing in relationships, and yet again immature. He’s more interested in getting access to your property than how you felt in the situation. Hon, I implore you to not put him on the deed. And depending on if this behavior is normal for him, I’d give a long and hard thought on if this is really what you want for your future,” advised
“Not to mention that he went out of his way to humiliate and belittle her publicly when it came time to signing. It wasn’t ‘just a prank’, it was an extremely petty way for him to try and assert power over her, and make her look and feel like the lesser person in the arrangement, when she is in fact the opposite,” observed
“YTA to yourself. He’s gunna to take half your house when you break up. Don’t do it,” said
“Please don’t add him. He pressured you before marriage and after your bereavement – he should be supporting you. Put the house into a trust, that will protect it and get a pre nup to protect your asset. Not legally binding in the UK at the moment but influences a divorce decision. Personally I wouldn’t marry him because of the pressure exerted when you are most vulnerable and the stupid prank at a legal appointment when it’s costing you several hundred pounds for the advice and actual appointment. He uses this to humiliate you. You’ve got an appreciable asset in your name entirely. He hasn’t. Perhaps he’s expressing his jealousy and acting up? This is not going to get better after marriage, postpone the wedding and sort this out in therapy. If you add him to the deed, then marry then he leaves a year after- you might have to sell your home and lose half,” said
“NTA tell him that you saying you were going to put him on the title was also just a prank and he’s getting way too worked up over a little joke,” said
“NTA His prank was seriously stupid and childish. I think adding him to the deed is a bad idea and deep down you know that. He isn’t entitled to any part of your inheritance. Re-evaluate the relationship. I’m going to go with NTA because of all the pressure he put on you and then him thinking it was okay to prank you. But seriously…take a deeper look at your relationship,” suggested
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