Kate Hackett
This one got me. I… don’t know. Normally I think people policing clothing is just weird, but this story from u/Yourlocaredditor19 is more involved than just imposing Puritan beliefs.
She asked, “AITA for telling my sister-in-law her friend is no longer allowed over because she wears revealing clothes around my husband?”
Here’s her story:
I (23F) have a husband (24M). He has a sister (25F) who hes extremely close to. Me and her have gotten along since my husband first introduced me to her and I actually consider her my sister.
Great! Sister relationship with in-law, how nice! How wholesome!
Recently, she has started living with us. She was supposed to get married to her fiancée but last second he cancelled the wedding and she had nowhere to live since he was her support system financially. We took her in while she gets back up on her feet.
Love it…
Well, since she lives with us, we allow her to bring over her friends. One friend (24F) in particular sleeps over a lot, I don’t really mind since SIL room is in the attic and her friend doesn’t really come out of her room often.
“We allow her” — I mean, yuck. But fine, I guess.
I have noticed though, that when my husband is out and she comes out of the attic, she would wear big hoodies and long baggy pants, but as soon as my husband comes back she’ll go back up to the attic and come back wearing booty shorts and a basically transparent shirt which shows everything.
I thought I was overreacting and didn’t do anything about it, but the other day my husband came to me shaking. When I asked him what was wrong he basically cried to me that he felt extremely uncomfortable and angry. When I asked for a reason he said that every time SILs friend comes over she literally flirts none stop with him when no one is around. Once apparently she even took off her pants and when he told her not to she said that she just needed some air. The reason why he was so upset this time was because a few minutes earlier she had tried to grab his hand. My husband hates physical touch with anyone he’s not comfortable with, hence that was a breaking point for him.
And here we are. Apparently this friend flirts constantly with OP’s husband and wears booty shorts and a totally transparent T-shirt. Kinda weird, right?
After a long discussion between us two, we told SIL how we didn’t want her friend over anymore because she was making us both uncomfortable. SIL freaked out, saying that it wasn’t her friends fault that my husband “was attracted to her” and started saying we were both some sexist assholes.
Seems reasonable, I guess, to point out to SIL so she can have a chat… But it IS kind of sexist, right? A little?
I feel really bad honestly, I’m a big women activist and this has really made me feel like sexist women, also SIL refuses to look at me now and im scared our relationship is ruined. I also feel bad because I know SILS friend was a big support system for her during these hard times and I might have taken that away from her
AITA?
So OP doesn’t sound like an absolute monster at all, which is why I’m a tad torn. On the one hand, “hey, this makes me uncomfortable” is fine and valid. But on the other, ugh, who CARES.
Here’s what Reddit had to say:
NTA
“SIL. This has nothing to do with attraction to your friend. Your friend has been sexually harassing and touching my husband against his direct consent. He came to me shaken because of how uncomfortable your guest made him feel in his own home by touching him. You and I both know that he doesn’t like being touched by people he is not comfortable with. What’s sexist here is that you think that is 100% acceptable of your friend to do to someone else, let alone to a married man who has no interest in her what-so-ever. If you want to meet your friend, you can meet her outside of our home. But she is not allowed back. Period. I am big on woman activism, but that doesn’t mean I am against it for men. Just as I actively disagree with sexual harassment for women, the same goes for men as well. If I find out you let her back here after how uncomfortable she made your brother through her sexual harassment, I will serve you an eviction notice. I am not going to be painted as a sexist asshole for protecting my husband from your terrible friend. It’s okay if that’s the kind of company you want to keep, but I and my husband (and he should tell her this too) do not want to.”
I would say that SILs friend is sexually harassing your husband and trying to lure him into cheating. SIL seems to be on board with her friend doing this as she claimed husband was attracted to friend. Is it possible that she’s trying to sabotage your marriage to make up for her own failed relationship?
Food for thought, right? It’s harassment didn’t even occur to me — but… isn’t it? What do you think?
