Kate Hackett
Hopefully at this point in the Year of Our Lord 2021, vegans can chill out about being invited to places that serve meat or being around loved ones who partake. I’ve met a few who buck the “obnoxious vegan” stereotype, but boy oh boy have I met others who resolutely do NOT.
Redditor u/myredditusername28 had a run in with her own difficult vegan when she invited her friend and the friend’s boyfriend home for a roast dinner. It turned south from there…
On Sunday, my friend and her boyfriend came over for a roast dinner.
(Roast Dinner for those outside the UK is beef, Yorkshire Puddings, roast potatoes, veg and gravy.)
My friend’s boyfriend is a vegan, and I thought this would be a fun challenge.
OP is already going above and beyond IMO.
Making a roast is a lot of work, but I didn’t want meat eaters to miss out for one vegan, so I made two completely different dinners.
I researched the best possible way to make a vegan version that’s still yummy for him. I spent a fortune on the vegan alternatives, didn’t mind as I invited them over and was game for a new cooking challenge.
Anyway, I served the dinners feeling pretty proud of myself, and the boyfriend didn’t even mention the meal, just said thanks at the end. I was a little bit miffed he overlooked the work I put into his dinner but whatever.
Anyway, made a non-vegan and vegan dessert, a large crème brûlée and for him, a chocolate pudding thing that was vegan.
I also had chocolates out etc., which were not vegan and offered coffees.
So she prepared an entire SECOND roast dinner for this yahoo. Get ready…
The boyfriend asked for a coffee with regular milk as he fancied “a treat”… I must have pulled a face, no way that I didn’t and said, “ok.”
*Jim stare to camera*
I’m pissed off at this point, considering the effort I went for respecting his diet requirements.
I return with coffees, and he is scoffing my part of the crème brûlée, leaving me with his vegan dessert.
I said, “that wasn’t vegan”, and he went “, eh, doesn’t matter.”
AFTER ALL THAT?! Are you fuming??
I kind of lost my shit and pointed out how rude it was of him to ask for his dinner to be 100% vegan, as far as not cooking potatoes in certain things and how I went above and beyond trying to make his meal pleasant for him to throw it in my face.
I’d be aghast too. I also love how OP’s “lost my shit” is pointing out a rudeness. Oh man, that’s not losing any shit at all here.
He laughed and said, “chill, not that big of a deal.”
Anyway, he thinks I’m a huge AH, and his GF/my friend is conflicted and in an awkward position.
If I’ve been the AH, I would apologise to clear the air for my friend, but I feel that he should.
EDIT: When I invited them for dinner, my friend said he’s a vegan and gave me his number. He texted to say please no mixing etc of meats/animal produce.
Reddit was with me on this one and we have some serious Not the Assh*le votes.
NTA. Of course it’s not a big deal to him you did all the work!! You don’t get to pretend you’re vegan just to get everyone to turn make you special food and then just eat the regular food, that’s obnoxious.
NTA – “Chill, not that big of a deal.” Uhhhh. I would have thrown bacon strips at him for that comment alone. I cannot get over the cheek of expecting and entirely separate meal, then deviating from his “diet” in your face, then stealing your food.
