Kate Hackett
Meeting the parents of your significant other is tough all on its own, but if they’re also racist or homophobes, how hard should you play your hand?
On the one hand, you don’t want to alienate the family of your loved one… but on the other, it’s so important to stand up for what’s right.
u/Worried_Usual_3799 was faced with this issue when he met his girlfriend’s folks for dinner. Here’s what he said:
He explains that his older brother was significantly older than he was; their parents died when OP was younger and his brother & partner raised him.
I’m (19M) and I was a late in life baby. My older brother (38M) was 19 when I was born. Our parents died in a car accident when i was about 6/7 and ever since then my older brother and his partner now my BIL got custody of me and raised me. They were the best dads I could ever have and they always did they’re best to take care of me.
He says his brother was a great dad; they’re clearly close.
Well for the last two months I’ve been dating this girl “Sara” (20 F).
OP recently began dating a girl and really liked her. She had no indications of being homophobic and really liked OP’s brother.
I really liked her a lot and she’s met my brother and BIL and everything was fine and she didn’t seem homophobic, but she hasn’t wanted me to meet her parents until recently.
She hadn’t introduced OP to her parents yet, but that they were visiting and it was time!
Two weeks she told me that they were coming to visit her this week and that she finally wanted me to meet them.
However, Sara explained that her parents weren’t keen on two male “dad” figures and OP said he wouldn’t lie. She eventually told her parents herself.
She told me that she didn’t want me to tell them that my brother had a husband who helped raise me because her parents wouldn’t like that. I told her I wasn’t gonna lie on my brother like that. She finally relented on it and told her parents herself.
The four of them went to dinner and things were okay until they got to “how OP was raised”.
The day of the visit yesterday, We all went to a steakhouse for dinner and for the most part the evening was fine and he we had pk conversations until her parents got to talking about how I was raised.
They began to make disparaging comments about OP’s brother and display general homophobia. OP paid for his meal and simply left.
They started saying things like “how nice of a young man I was despite the short comings of my home life” or that “life couldn’t have been easy living with my peverted brother and his “friend” and that they were glad I didn’t pick up any “bad habits.” After they started in I just saw red and I slammed 40 dollars on the table for my meal and just walked out and left.
Sara was upset with her BF and even his brother said it was rude. So… was he wrong?
Sara called me multiple times today telling me I shouldn’t have reacted like that and I overreacted. That she told me her parents wouldn’t like it. She was mad at me for leaving her there at the restaurant and that I was rude. I asked my brother and BIL about it and they told me they loved me for it, but that it was rude and I probably could have handled it better than that. AITA?
Someone said, “NTA. Tell your (former I hope?) GF that you’re surprised she turned out so well having been raised by “people like that” and that you’re sorry she had such a challenging home life. It couldn’t have been easy for her growing up with homophobes.”
“NTA. They raised you properly. I am a little overwhelmed at the grace they showed with their follow up comment. I wish I could take you all out for a steak dinner. I second the might be time to find a new girlfriend comment,” said another person.
