I am firmly in the camp of “please, dear god, discipline my child if they are doing something wrong” but a lot — and I mean A LOT — of parents do not want their precious babies spoken to by ANYONE other than them.
And if those same parents actually, you know, parented, I don’t think I have a problem with that. But let’s be honest: most of the time the kind of parents who don’t want anyone else speaking to their kids are the kinds of parents who think their kids walk on water.
That all said… this story doesn’t go where you think it goes!
u/YouDontKnowMyKid recently ran afoul of a guest disciplining her son and wanted to know if they screwed up, so they asked Reddit’s AITA sub for some input. Let’s check out their post.
OP explains that their sister, cousin, and some unknown friends. When OP exited the bathroom, one of the friends was arguing with OP’s son.
My sister, cousin and a couple friends came over last night after work. My sister brought a friend of hers I’d only met a few times that I’ve never had an issue with. At one point I went to the bathroom, and the ladies were in the living room, calmly enjoying wine. When I came out, my sister’s friend was in the kitchen, arguing with my son. I asked her what she was doing.
This friend had noticed the boy going into the kitchen and told him to wait for OP to ask for permission. OP was not happy and told the guest off.
She said my son went into the kitchen to get food, and she told him to wait until I came out of the bathroom to ask me for permission. I stared at her for a second and then said “who the fuck are you? You don’t live here. He does. Who are you to tell him he can’t go in his own kitchen?”
The guest didn’t think she did anything wrong, so OP pressed harder, wondering why the guest thought it was okay to impose random rules in OP’s home.
She looked surprised and said she was trying to be helpful. I repeated my question of why she thought it was okay to tell someone they can’t use their own kitchen when she’s a guest in someone else’s house. She dodged the question and then brought up that she’s a teacher, which isn’t even relevant, and sometimes kids try to get around rules. I asked her what that has to do with anything. I then asked who even gave her permission to go in my kitchen.
The argument continued and OP pushed harder against the guest’s rude behavior in OP’s own home. Eventually, the guest left.
She said she followed my son in. I said “so you think my son needs permission to go in his own kitchen, but you can go wherever you like in my house without invitation? So you have more rights here than he does?” She said she didn’t feel welcome anymore and was leaving. She went back in the living room, grabbed her bag and walked out.
After the guest left, OP explained the situation. The rest of the group was divided: some friends thought the guest was weird, others thought OP was hostile.
My sister asked what happened, and I explained that she had a disagreement with my son. My cousin and some of the other ladies said they thought it was strange she followed him into the kitchen and had been wondering why she did that, and thought her motive was weird as hell. My sister and a couple other ladies said her behavior was perfectly normal and I was unnecessarily hostile to her. My cousin said “but why would you confront a child you don’t know instead of saying something to the aunt who’s right here? That’s so weird.”
Eventually, OP’s sister spoke with OP privately and said that she was unhappy with how OP behaved. OP wanted to know: was she wrong?
Everyone but my sister acknowledged that part was weird, and we all moved on. Later, my sister confronted me privately and said she was upset I “chased off” her friend. She said she really likes this woman, and that I was way over the top in the way I spoke to her. I can be a little extra when it comes to defending my kid, so was I an asshole?
So… definitely weird! And definitely NOT a case of a kid doing something wrong and being called on it by an adult.
Here’s what Reddit had to say about the incident:
“NTA. That friend is way out of line. She was in your house trying to boss around your son. If she was so concerned, she could have asked his aunt or, idk knocked on the bathroom door and asked you? She has no right to parent your child,” wrote another Redditor.
Another user wrote, “I’m trying to figure out what world this person lives in that they think a child needs permission to enter their own kitchen. I’ve never heard of such a thing.”