Patricia Grisafi
People are choosing to leave their jobs in droves right now, finding that the pandemic emboldened them to either stop work altogether or seek a better situation. Unfortunately, most of us need jobs for money — so when one part of a couple drops their job, it can wreak havoc on family finances.
One Redditor explains how her husband recently left his job, lied to her about it, and is going through all of the family money spending time on the internet. Is he really looking for a job or is this a crisis situation?
“My husband (M30) and I (F32) are going through some financial struggles right now. The reason for that is because my husband lost his job. He didn’t earn much anyway working retail, being overworked and underpaid. He said the reason he lost his job was because of his narcissist boss. Money is tight and the load fell on me completely to provide for us and pay for everything including WiFi. He promised to look for a job though,” the OP writes.
“My husband started spending most of his time on his phone. I keep asking if he is looking for a job and he’d say yes but it’s been 3 months now. And I grew suspicious because retail jobs aren’t easy to find. On the other hand I found myself paying so much towards WiFi service because of his endless activities on the internet.”
“I didn’t say anything til I ran into his former boss at the supermark. We talked about my husband and I brought up how he fired him but he looked at me confused and told me he didn’t fire him, my husband quit with his own will after giving him a long rant about how he was sick and tired of working retail and that he will never work in this field again. I was shocked and also fuming. I went home and confronted him. He admitted that it was true and asked me to understand because he was fed up with having to work as a server for rude, obnoxious people who don’t respect him the way they should.”
“I asked what he was going to do then and he said he has been thinking of going back to school to earn a respectable degree and work a ‘decent’ job. I asked where he would get the money to go back to school and he shrugged and said I could start a ‘fund’ for him with my salary because like he said he will no longer work retail. I lost it at him and told him I won’t save money for anything when I can barely manage, oh and btw I told him I was losing so much money on WiFi service and so I changed the password prohibiting him from using the internet again til he start helping pay for it.”
“He got mad and shouted about how I was robbing him of his rights to use the internet, But I stated that the internet is a privilege not a right but he called me selfish and unsupportive. I left for work later and he kept calling me telling me to give up the password but I kept refusing.”
What do Redditors think?
“NTA but what a shitty marriage. Are you sure you want to be married to an entitled, lying man you have resorted to treating like a toddler,” asked
“NTA but you have bigger problems than a password,” observed
“NTA. Whatever he’s been doing for the last three months isn’t job searching (unless he’s looking at jobs he’s underqualified for, given he’s disdainful of retail), especially if it’s using enough internet to become a financial drain. He’s lied about his last job with his boss and how he parted from it, and only admitted to lying when you confronted him with the truth. This is the time to reevaluate the relationship knowing what you do now, and whether you think it’s worth taking a chance on your husband or not,” said
“Op LEAVE. Do you guys have kids? Is there something major you risk losing if you leave him because this is a big red flag. He quit his job without telling you and lied to you for 3 months telling you his narcissist boss fired him and during the 3 months he never ONCE told you about his plan to never work retail again and for you to support him. He planned to live off of you and lie to you and wouldn’t even have told you he’s not looking for jobs if you didn’t find his boss. Are we sure he’s not the narcissist?I beg leave. I know I know reddit always suggest divorce blah blah but like some of yall legit need it,” advised
“He sounds very entitled. He lied about losing his job, and without discussing how to move forward with his unhappiness and how you both can work towards changing the situation. Tell him to go to an Internet cafe. I think you are right for setting boundaries, otherwise lord knows how long he’ll be sat there scrolling pounds away. 🙂 Will give him the encouragement he needs to get the ball rolling,” said
Featured Image: Pexels
