Kate Hackett
Not all parents and children are going to have a strong, loving bond — and that kind of sucks. Even the best relationships, of course, have disagreements, but the second you lose respect for a figure in your life who is meant to be revered, things get pretty ugly.
u/Internal_Price669 recently asked the Am I The Asshole forum if he was a jerk for telling his mother when and how he lost all respect for her. This is a serious confession made all the more so by the circumstances of the reveal — I’ll let OP tell it.
He explains that he lives with his older sister and their two younger sisters. The eldest has legal custody over all the kids because their mother was an addict.
I(21M) live with my older sister(23) and my two younger sisters(17 and 15). My older sister currently has legal custody over our two younger sisters and at one point even had legal custody over me when I was still a minor, she basically gained custody of us all when she was 19 because our mom was an addict.
Now that mother is dying, going through end-stage renal failure.
My mom is currently going through end stage renal kidney failure, assumingly because all of those years of not taking care of herself caught up to her.
OP was her emergency contact and didn’t care for it when it happened, but sucked it up. Until he had to pick her up from the clinic.
When she first started going to dialysis about 5 months ago, she put me down as her emergency contact, and at first I just sucked it up and dealt with it(because she doesn’t have anyone else in this part of the country and my older sister doenst talk to her for reasons you can imagine.) However, yesterday when the clinic contacted me, and I had to pick her up I informed her that she needed to put someone else down because I wouldn’t be answering those calls anymore after she had her family members leave threatening messages to my older sister.
He told his mother that after she left threatening messages to the oldest sister, he wasn’t interested in helping her out anymore. His mom got mad and asked why he didn’t love her, when he stopped… So OP told her.
This pissed her off, and she started going on about why I didn’t love her anymore and when I stopped loving her.
He told her that at 13, he was trying to get to football practice and she was passed out. There was no food, the oldest sister was upset, but somehow she managed to make a fried rice meal out of virtually nothing.
So I told her, I told her the exact moment I stopped loving her, and respecting her was when I was 13. I had just entered high school. I was big into football, and the coach at that time was brutal. He was making us practice two times a day, at 5 am. and after school. I told her how I woke up one morning and she was passed out on the couch off of whatever substance she was using at the time and my older sister only 15 at the time was freaking out because we had no food…we never had any food. She was freaking out thinking I was going to pass out from all of that practice and barely eating. I tried to assure her that I would be fine, but she went into that kitchen grabbed the only things we had which were 2 day old almost burnt rice, salt, a can of green beans, and half a chicken breast and made me and our siblings an entire fried rice meal.
This gem of a sister made sure the kids ate that morning, got them to school, and got groceries by the end of the day. The mom?
She made sure I ate that morning, and I ate that meal on my way to practice crying. She had to stay home from school that day like she did most days to send younger sisters off to school and to be there to pick them up. When I got home from that day, my sister was in the kitchen cooking dinner, and there were some groceries in the fridge that she brought with the money that she got from selling her rings that our grandma gave her to some sketchy ass guy that used to hangout at the convenience store.
Was passed out and high the entire time. OP told her that’s the day love and respect disappeared.
All while she remained high and passed out.
OP is wondering now if he was a jerk and should have been kinder…
I told her that’s when all love and respect for her vanished. She cried and told me that I was evil. Having a moral conflict because I’m wondering if I should’ve been softer with her. AITA?
Info: my dad passed away of an OD when I was 8, so he was really no better than my mom.
To some extent, I feel like: what’s the point of this reveal? But to another, god. This poor poster. Reddit knew right away this was a NTA post.
