Patricia Grisafi
Especially during COVID times, delivering a baby is hard.
You can’t have a crowd of people who love and support you waiting in the lobby for the big moment. You can only have two support people in your room — so you have to choose wisely.
For this young mom-to-be on Reddit, she definitely does not want one of those people to be her ex — and he is salty about it.
Mom’s comfort comes first, as she is about to go through a major medical experience, but what should she do about her pushy ex?
“So, I’ve never really asked strangers for advice but with my family and his biased emotions I need a fresh perspective. Backstory: My ex (19M) and I (19F) were together for about 10 months I believe (pregnancy brain has me screwed). I after awhile started to realize that I hadn’t gotten my period since April so I course I did what any person with a uterus would do and got a test. Well, it was positive. Fast forward through the freaking out of my parents are gonna kill me and all that, I make an appointment with my doctor to take a blood test. I wait my time and find out I am indeed pregnant, about 4-6 weeks pregnant.”
OP continues…
“I am now 25 weeks pregnant, I’m not entirely sure when we broke up in the course of the pregnancy but it was a bit ago. Now, we had things pretty under control he was letting me make the decisions and pick names all that but when we were together I had planned for him and my mother to be in the delivery room, with COVID precautions I am only allowed 2 people to have in the room, and he was going to name the baby if they were a boy.”
“We now know that the little bean is a boy but since my ex decided to leave me I said screw that and I chose a name and switched my ex out for my dad even letting the hospital know that he was no longer going to be present and I did not want him in my room no matter what. I believe that in a situation like this my comfort in labor comes first.”
“Well, when I first told him this he was not exactly happy about it but he wasn’t going to fight me but of course he went to speak with his mother and suddenly! He HAS to have the last name and he HAS to be in the room. I understand that, yes this is his child also but he is the one who left. He still tries to hit me up for sex and is now going on about how he is joining the military and our son needs to have his name so if he dies or if I take our son away from him our son will have a piece of his dad and he needs to be in the room because and I quote, ‘He’s my fu*king kid too, you don’t have the right to take this away from me’ which was yelled in a very rude way at me in my driveway at 6pm when he randomly showed up.”
“I get that he wants to be a dad but before anyone makes their final decisions I would also like to point out that he was all for an abortion before but when I said it didn’t feel right he was furious that I told my mom that he had originally wanted an abortion. I’m starting to slowly feel like an a*shole for the way I’m acting but at the same time he didn’t want to stick around and also didn’t even originally want our son. So, AITA?”
I mean, it’s her delivery! What do Redditors think she should do?
“NTA – The taking of your partners name thing is just anachronism. It’s not a rule. If he’s not willing to be a proper dad, I don’t see why you wouldn’t give the child your last name. And the labor room is 110% about your comfort. Of course he shouldn’t be allowed if you don’t want it,” said [deleted].
“I was your exact age when I gave birth to twins. Their dad wasn’t in their life at all and tried to convince me they should still have his last name as well as the name he picked for one of them. I named them what I wanted to and have never regretted it for a moment. I would’ve regretted it if I’d given in and named them for a dead beat. This is YOUR baby OP. Name him as you wish with YOUR last name. You’re probably not marrying the father, which means it’s going to be a load of shit to have to fill out paperwork with y’all having different last names,” shared mommyof4not2.
“NTA, only people in labor room are the people that will ease and help the labor, whomever that might be is up to you. It’s not a side show for fans of the child. It’s major medical trauma,” said 3bluerose.
“The way he’s acting toward you isn’t very comforting and supportive, and that’s what you want with you in the delivery room, when in labour. You make the choice of who you want supporting you. As for the baby’s name, the notion, that it’s a slight against him if your child doesn’t get his name, but not once did anyone think it was a slight against you that he was going to get the father’s name in the first place. You do you, and don’t let anyone pressure you to do anything else,” said Cocoasneeze.
Featured Image: Pexels
