Patricia Grisafi
Unfortunately, there are still so many people who gender colors and toys and just about everything else. For young children, this can be confusing. Who is to say that a girl can’t love playing football or that a boy can’t wear the color purple? A lot has to be done to dismantle sexism and misogyny such as this, and it needs to start young. But there’s a gentle and kind way to challenge ingrained ideas that children may receive from advertising or other peers.
One Redditor, however, is trying to figure out where that line is with her young daughter, who has more stereotypical ideas of what is feminine and masculine.
“This incident happened during Christmas at my sister’s house. My 5 year old daughter loves traditionally feminine things like ballerinas, dresses, the color pink, etc. She mentioned that pink is a girl’s color and boys can’t like pink. My sister did not appreciate said comments and berated her and called her a sexist to her face. I do agree that it is a bit sexist, and to be honest, when my daughter has made similar comments in the past, I have always told her that it’s not always true and boys can like pink. But I take issue with my sister’s anger over the situation because I think it’s ridiculous to expect a 5 year old to understand fully. Now she’s mad at me and my daughter because we are ‘sexist’ and we hurt her 10 year old son’s feelings because he used to like the color pink. AITA?”
This was a learning moment that was handled pretty badly. What can this family do in the future?
“ESH, but I dislike you more. Your sister shouldn’t have YELLED at your kid, but like…yeah. Your kid told another kid that they’re not allowed to like something just because the other kid is a boy and if you don’t nip that shit in the bud now she’s going to go to school soon and bully other kids in similar ways. Kids her own age who are far more impressionable than your 10yo nephew. What are you gonna do when Miss Molly calls from Kindergarten and tells you Little Lacie is snatching baby dolls from little boys and screaming that it’s only for girls? Cuz that’s where this is headed.” —
“NTA. You correct the behavior when it comes up, but there’s no need to blow up at a 5 y/o. She’s 5, she doesn’t understand the full picture, bc I repeat, she’s 5. Your sister stepped way over the line imo; not like she was getting ready to touch a hot stove or anything that would warrant that kind of reaction.” —
“ESH it could have been a cute learning moment. I’m not saying sit the girl down and explain the patriarchy. But asking ‘why do you think that?’ And having an age appropriate chat about how she and everyone else can like whatever color they want would have been awesome. Sister way overreacted.” —
“NTA. At 5, she just needs it explained repeatedly (and without anger) that colors don’t have a gender. I recommend the book Pink Is For Boys. Your sister handled it badly.” —
“ESH. Berating calling a 5 year old ‘sexist’ was definitely over the top and she’s more of an AH here and way overreacted to a small child. But 5 is not too young to learn to be kind and inclusive to others, and you SHOULD care about that (which is your main question in the title). She doesn’t know what sexism means, but she IS capable of understanding that both boys and girls can like any colors, toys, activities, etc and that it’s not nice to tell boys they can’t like something just because they’re a boy.” —
