Kate Hackett
Today we have a Reddit post from u/Ok-Internet-2420 over on r/AmITheAsshole in which she wants to know if she’s in the wrong for no longer wanting to visit her in-laws. Why, you may ask. Well, these in-laws are really pretty awful — and as OP puts it, “they refused to let me get in their pool”. Let’s check out the post.
OP and her boyfriend visited his parents’ house, which has a pool, for a party! Fun!
I 24f and my bf 23m were invited to a football draft pool party at his parents house. They had just moved to florida so everyone flew in to drafter there players. They just bought a new house in florida and now have a pool.
His parents invited my bf and I over since my bf is in charge of the draft and because we live in an apartment and needed a bigger place to host the party. His dad usually hosts the party and offered to do it this past year which we greatly appreciated.
OP and her boyfriend prepped for the party with his parents, then as the event started, OP changed into her swimsuit and got ready to get in the water.
Anyways, fast forward I helped put together a board where the guys can write their players on every round and helped my bf’s mom set up the food. The party started and I changed into my swimsuit. I was finishing up setting up the food with his mother when my bf asked me to come outside. He wanted me to get in the pool. I’d like to note I was wearing a one piece that was not revealing as I wanted to respect everyone there plus I felt more comfortable in it anyways. I have body image issues.
But before she could dive in, her boyfriend’s dad asked her to come inside and explained that women were not allowed in the pool. WHAT. Oh — because they didn’t want to distract the men? Wait, WHAT?
When I was unbuttoning my shorts his dad called me inside. My bf’s dad and mom pulled me into their room and proceeded to tell me that “no women are allowed in the pool” the reason is because they don’t want to distract the men or make them uncomfortable.
OP let it go and didn’t get in the pool, but her boyfriend wanted her to; she finally explained why and he was furious with his parents.
I was in shock and didn’t know what to say back. It was their home after all so I just said okay and didn’t press any further. Fast forward and my bf is asking me where I am via text and I tell him I’m inside helping his mom still but he insisted I come outside again to talk. He tells me to get in again and I keep telling him I don’t want to, trying no to make a scene or play victim. He noticed my odd behavior and when I finally told him the truth he was pissed. He told his parents they were outta line and that the “rule” was unnecessary and stupid.
The next day, however, the boyfriend seemed willing to brush the behavior off. OP was not. So — was she wrong to not want to go visit them?
They still said no to me getting in the pool. Later the next day we are going home and I brought up how I felt. I felt small, disrespected and frankly embarrassed. I further explained that his parents were extreme inconsiderate for invited us over and never telling us this “rule” that they suddenly made. He told me that they are old school and I told him that they were ignorant and inconsiderate and that I didn’t feel comfortable going over again. He told me I was being over dramatic. AITA for not wanting to go over to my in-laws anymore?
Reddit was swift with its NTA judgment. One user wrote, “Your inlaws just informed you that you are a distraction to men. You’re not a person with human feelings, you’re something to be hidden. When asked to reconsider they double down. They don’t see you as an equal to your boyfriend, and if your boyfriend doesn’t support you on this.. do you need him?”
