Kate Hackett
Reddit has a tendency to believe that anyone “not respecting” anything is automatically wrong. Suffice it to say, it’s pretty wild that Reddit voted this NTA — so much so that you’re going to have to really read the post from u/AITA199O.
We have a new employee I will call “Heather.” I have candy dish on my desk which has various types of candy in it. Right now I happen to have the little Reese’s peanut butter cups.
OP says that a new employee joined the workforce. OP, meanwhile, has a cup of candy on their desk — with peanut butter cups.
Heather noticed my candy dish and said, “You know, I’m allergic to peanuts.” I said I was not aware of her peanut allergy but I did have some other kinds of candy in my dish without peanuts if she wanted any.
The new coworker pointed out that she was allergic to peanuts. OP offered her a different candy, but she pointed out that she might die.
She said, “You don’t seem to get it. I could die.”
OP said that next time, they would buy peanut-less candy.
I said yes, I have heard that can happen sometimes. I said that at the time I purchased the candy for my dish she was not employed by our company yet and next time I would be sure not to buy candy with peanuts.
The new employee asked if OP thought it was, perhaps, insensitive to her to have candy laced with peanuts available.
She then said, “Don’t you think it’s insensitive to keep that death-inducing candy sitting on your desk? You’re not respecting my peanut allergy.”
I said I did not think it was insensitive because all she needed to do was not take any of it. She told me I needed to “get rid” of my candy and I told her “no.”
OP said not really, she just doesn’t have to eat it. She told OP to get rid of the candy and OP refused.
I said, “We have employer-sponsored health insurance. If you know you will die if you come in contact with something as common as peanuts, I suggest you get an eppi-pen.”
OP delivered a pretty snide comment, but this woman was being ridiculous. THEN she took it to HR.
She went to Human Resources and basically told them I was putting peanut butter candy on my desk to harass and bully her because of her peanut allergy.
HR lectured OP and gave him a “do not bring peanuts” talk.
I got a lecture from HR and was directed to never bring anything containing peanuts into the office again. I definitely think she is an asshole, but I am not entirely sure about myself.
OP edits to include some more information — that the allergy does not appear to be airborne and that she was near the peanuts the entire time she argued with OP.
EDIT: A lot of people are talking about airborne peanut allergens. I don’t think it’s that kind of peanut allergy because she was standing right next to my candy dish the entire time she was arguing with me. Also she didn’t correct me when I said that as long as she didn’t eat any of the peanut candy it wouldn’t be a problem for her. Also when I talked with HR they did not say anything about an airborne peanut allergy.
OP also says they know they weren’t nice, but there seemed to be no danger imminent.
I know I wasn’t nice and I am not saying I was not an asshole. I do want to say if I thought she was in any actual danger I would remove the candy right away.
ONE MORE EDIT: I don’t know if it makes a difference, but my candy dish primarily had non-peanut candy. Kit-Kat, Milk Duds, Whoppers, Rollos, and then Reese’s cups. It all came together in the same bag like a Halloween candy mix. Then I added milk chocolate Dove candies (no nuts). We are literally talking about no more than three Reese’s cups in the candy dish. Not an entire dish full of Reese’s.
HR spoke with OP again and made it clear that they were in the wrong and that Heather does not seem to need complete “no exposure” to peanuts.
UPDATE: Today I went to the HR lady to discuss me being the only person instructed not to bring peanuts to the office. The HR lady said, “I owe you an apology. We should have done our due diligence before we said that, and we shouldn’t have singled you out. At this time we have no reason to limit anyone from bringing peanuts to the office.”
I asked her, “What about Heather’s allergies?” She kind of rolled her eyes and said, “I really can’t talk about her private health information. All I can say at this time is that I haven’t seen any evidence that supports the need to limit any employee’s exposure to peanuts. Going by the evidence we have, Heather will be just fine and that’s all I can say about it.”
Reddit chimed in quickly that OP was NTA.
“NTA, if her allergy is that severe that she could die from someone else in the office having a very common food, that’s called a disability and she simply cannot work in a setup like that with other people. What she cannot do is expect for the whole company to never eat peanuts again. That’s ridiculous,” wrote one person.
Another said, “NTA, and here’s why: if she had an allergy so severe that it’s triggered by airborne particulants, she would have alerted HR prior to starting, and HR would have sent an email asking people not to bring in any peanut products. That’s what you do. You don’t go around bullying people who have candy on their desk. If her behavior was as described here, she was being a huge AH and clearly looking to intimidate and start trouble. I’d go to HR and tell them that unless she’s requested that no one bring in any peanut products, then she was clearly targeting you and you’d like to file a complaint against her for bullying.”
“NTA but she sure is. She doesn’t need to eat any of the candy and she was around the dish long enough to argue with you so she is just being an entitled drama queen,” said another.
