Patricia Grisafi
Sometimes petty revenge is beautiful. If no one gets really hurt, it can be a great way to show someone who was clueless about their behavior that there are consequences.
On Reddit, one woman who was treated pretty badly by her sister-in-law after a family tragedy has the opportunity to respond in kind.
She knows her behavior is petty, but is it really harmful?
“I am 100% being petty here but curious if I am actually wrong. Most of my husbands family think I am being childish and ‘need to let the past go,’ as my SIL can’t afford this but her behavior toward us in the past makes me feel this is warranted,” the OP writes.
“2 years ago my house burnt to the ground after being struck by lightning. Thankfully it was during the day so our 3 kids were at school and my husband and I were at work. We lost everything but we were safe. It took almost 11 months for the insurance to pay out. The insurance covered 1 month worth of hotel stays but after that we were made to fend for ourselves and the only option we had was to move in with my SIL. She tells us we can have her spare room and her office space, since she used neither of the rooms and her stipulations was we needed to purchase all of our own food and pay her $100 a week.”
“By week 3 all of that changed. She then decides we need to pay her $250 a week and we can only use one room. So all 5 of us were crammed in to the smallest room she had, which was the size of a glorified closet space and didn’t even fit a twin bed and a small dresser (so we lived out of trash bags and slept on the floor) for close to $1000 a month some months and still had to purchase all of our own food, despite her claiming my children on her foodstamps. She also had no bills outside of her land tax ($450 a year), electric and heating oil (which she hardly ever filled). So we were essentially paying her so she could do leisure activities. It was the worst 8 months of my life.”
“3 months ago my grandmother decided that she wanted to go to assisted living after a fall and transferred the deed of her house to me and basically said it was mine now. It is a 5 bedroom farmhouse. My boys insist on sharing a room so we have 2 extra bedrooms. Well, my SIL lost her house last month due to not paying her land tax for several years and asked if her and her step daughter could stay with us until they get enough money to move down south. I said sure, 1 bedroom, $800 a month and you have to buy and cook all your food separately because my daughter is vegan.”
“She looked at me like I had 10 heads and said that she and her stepdaughter should not be made to share a room when there are 2 extra rooms and stated she cannot afford a rent of $800 while purchasing all of her own food on top of it. I said ‘neither could we but we managed to cram 5 people in to a glorified closet space while you were getting $1000 and foodstamps. Take it or leave it.’ She decided to leave. Again, I am being told I am childish. AITA?”
Petty but also deserved? What do Redditors think?
“NTA. It’s $250/month for the room and $750/month for you having to see her stupid face every day. You’re giving her an 80% discount on the rent because she’s family,” said
“Wow I was really going the other way when I read the title but yeah you are NTA. You simply treated you SIL how she treated you. Not worse and not better. If she thinks it’s unfair then it shows she knew what she did was wrong first. Screw anybody who says you should accommodate. Best thing ever that she left. Enjoy your farm house,” said
“OP would still be treating her better. SIL’s problem is of her own making, took years to create, and she could’ve avoided the whole thing if she used some of the rent OP gave her for taxes. OP lost everything from a fire that she had no part in making and couldn’t have predicted. She had fire insurance; what else could she have done? SIL was an asshole when OP’s family had an emergency,” noted
“Let’s be honest: OP is being petty, and she so is entitled to me. I totally don’t blame her. She and her family crammed into awful living circumstances for months after an emotional disaster, had to shell out a lot of money they I’m sure they really didn’t have (or could have used to furnish their new house and do nice things for the kids who had to deal with being on top of each other for months). Yea, it was nice to have family help out in an emergency, but SIL made big bucks (possibly did food stamp fraud to boot), but helping turned into exploitation and cruelty. I don’t see any reason to be any nicer to her in her time of need. She decided to leave instead of putting up with mildly tight living circumstances, so she had other alternatives but she thought she could take advantage of OP. NTA. Ignore these other people (family members???) who accuse OP of being childish. OP had a right to offer what she felt like offering (and for trying to recoup some of the money SIL squeeezed out of her in her time of need). Being petty sometimes is just okay,” explained
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