Kate Hackett
I have to defer to women who have birthed children here, but in general… I cannot imagine why you wouldn’t want your (non-abusive) partner in the room.
Ladies? Help me out? Why?
Unfortunately, our poster from Reddit doesn’t really understand it either… and it’s his wife! Today we’re going to explore a Reddit post titled “AITA for “sulking” about the fact that my wife won’t let me watch my son’s birth?” from user u/Dear_Fox_5010.
OP’s wife is, after a long wait, finally pregnant and OP is over the moon. He is so all in on the entire experience. Yes, it’s been a tough pregnancy, but the parents-to-be are very ready!
I, 28M, have been with the love of my life, Emily, 26F, for 7 years, married for 2. We have always talked about having kids, and I’ve always wanted to be there when they were born. When my dad was still alive, he used to tell me and my siblings all the time about how it literally brought him to tears (NOT a man who cries btw), and he would say he was so grateful for all of us and for the experience.
My beautiful and amazing wife is 8 months pregnant. It’s been a pretty difficult pregnancy for her, well for us, but especially to her. She’s had a few miscarriages in the past, and I’ve just been praying to God for both of them to make it through safely.
Until they started to confer on what happens in the labor. OP’s wife does NOT want him in the room.
We were talking more and more about what’s going to happen when she goes into labor, and she’s very adamant that I not be in the room, natural or C, no matter what.
Yeah, you read that. She doesn’t want him in the room and will not change her mind. OP is really sad he’s being shut out of that birth.
I’ve tried convincing, pleading, begging, but she won’t change her mind. Her mom is going to be with her, and I understand that she needs her mom, and that she needs to do whatever to make sure that everything goes smoothly. I don’t wanna stress her out too much because I keep telling myself all that matters is that they’re both healthy, but I’m honestly really sad about not being able to be there for my son’s birth.
He’s trying not to stress his wife out as he comes to terms, but she’s become condescending.
It’s not about me. I know that. All that matters is that they’re both healthy. I’ve been trying to come to terms and understand this on my own time, so as not to bother her, but Emily’s just being so condescending to me, and I know that she’s just stressed out and scared, so she doesn’t mean it, but I feel like I deserve to process this at least for a few days.
And apparently he’s walking around with the “beat up puppy dog” look — a look I know TOO WELL on men and it would drive me insane too. But… this woman … did kind of deserve it?
I still do everything as I’ve done before, but she says that now I have this “beaten puppy dog” look on my face, and its “pissing her off.” Then, she started scolding me asking me why it mattered so much to me, and if I was going to act this weak in front of our son.
OP’s wife basically told him to man up and quit being such a baby… OP was so upset, he just left and sat in the car.
She told me I needed to just be a fucking man and “get the fuck over it.” I feel like crying, but I don’t want her to know, and get mad at me again, so I told her I was going out to get groceries, and am writing this in the car to try and calm myself down. I love her so much, but what she said really hit me hard. I just want them both to be healthy and safe, but I also wanted to be there.
Yikes, guys. OP’s wife is really putting him through a wringer, huh? Reddit was quick to point out some serious issues:
Another said, “It’s your child, too. I don’t blame you one bit for being upset. You’re not an AH for wanting to see the birth of your kid.”
Someone else was very even-keeled in their answer, writing in, “While your wife is allowed to choose her support system in her delivery room, this stuff: Then, she started scolding me asking me why it mattered so much to me, and if I was going to act this weak in front of our son. She told me I needed to just be a fucking man and “get the fuck over it.” ..is totally uncalled for. You said that it matters to you because you care about them and the moment, which is a valid reason. And her belittling/gendered statement about being weak is really pretty horrible. You do need to be supportive of her delivery choices, but that doesn’t give her a free pass to be so verbally abusive. I can’t decide if that makes you both AH’s for your behavior, or gives you both a free pass, but you both need to tighten up the family unit before the baby comes.”
