Kate Hackett
Once a gift leaves the giver’s hands and is placed into someone else’s arms, any sense of ownership flies out the window. It’s now the receiver’s and if they hate it or love it, it’s theirs to do with what they wish.
But does that hold true with really expensive gifts? That’s what u/Throwwway987 had to wonder after his 40th birthday. He explains:
I’m 40M, just turned forty last week. I’m divorced and have 2 teenage kids with my ex wife, 17M and 14F.
OP just turned 40 and to celebrate, he had a huge family party.
My whole family came to my and my GF’s appartment last Saturday for my birthday party: my parents, some aunts and uncles, some cousins, my 3 brothers with their families, my two kids (and my GF’s 15yro son who lives with us).
OP also explains that he is a recovered alcoholic and has not taken a drink for 6 years. He doesn’t serve or tolerate alcohol in his home. Everyone knows this.
I am a recovered alcoholic, I’ve been sober for 6 years now. Alcohol absolutely ruined my life, it destroyed my marriage and nuked my relationship with my kids for years. I don’t allow alcohol in my home now, for anyone. It just isn’t served or tolerated here. My entire family knows this very well, as they know my entire history with alcohol.
His brother, however, gave OP a very old, very pricey bottle of whiskey for OP’s birthday.
For my 40th, my brother bought me a very expensive bottle of whiskey, it had writing on it, a very heavy bottle and very old whiskey, so it probably cost him a couple hundred bucks.
OP said thanks and his brother started to pour. OP’s daughter got very upset and OP instructed his brother to take the booze on the balcony.
When he gave me the bottle, I was shocked, and said I don’t drink, but thanks for the gift. He then opened the bottle and started pouring shots in plastic cups for everyone. My daughter had a panic attack at the smell of the alcohol (which I am painfully aware is my fault and I will never forgive myself for it), so I told my brother to take the alcohol out on the balcony and just leave it there. He wouldn’t do it, and took a shot of the whiskey.
The brother refused. He started drinking in front of OP and the family and seemed to want to confront OP about something.
I told him to seriously stop it and he proceeded to pour the whiskey. He then said I am acting like a sober saint now, when I ruined everyone’s birthdays for years with my drinking. I told him to come to the hallway with me and talk it out. He refused and put a glass of whiskey in my hand.
So OP threw the whole damn whiskey bottle away.
I took the trash can, threw the whiskey bottle in it and the plastic cups, and took the trash out.
People thought OP was being too sensitive (what) and demanded an apology.
My brother then stormed off and my mom followed him. She later called me, demanding an apology for disrespecting my brother like that. My dad said I was being overly sensitive, and some of my other family members also agree.
Aita here?
Not at all, OP. I can’t believe your brother thought this was appropriate! Thankfully, Reddit had your back.
One person wrote, “NTA. What your brother did is really, really awful and cruel. Possibly the worst gift I’ve ever heard of someone giving another, especially as he is aware of your struggles and recovery. . Congratulations on recovery and standing up for yourself and your family.”
Another said, “WTF! NTA. Brother was being horrendously abusive/taunting. Read the room dude, especially the pain this caused the kids. Not a situation to double down on your bottle flex. Mom and anyone upset at OP can pound sand and get their juice on their own time. OP should have drain poured it to prevent them from dumpster diving afterwards. I say this as someone who drinks. The level of disrespect shown OP here is off the charts. NC the lot of them.”
