Patricia Grisafi
If you have a sibling, there usually comes a time in life when you need help from them or they need help from you. It could be a recommendation, a small amount of money, child care assistance, or support with a health issue. Most of the time, it doesn’t feel like a huge imposition and the sibling will be happy to return the favor.
Unfortunately, some siblings — like this one on Reddit’s AITA forum — seem to just want to take and take without giving back.
The OP explains that they and their partner recently bought their first home. This was a big deal for them because they live in New Zealand and prices are skyrocketing. They also received financial help from family members. The apartment has two bedrooms and a small office where the OP’s partner will work from home.
Enter the OP’s sister: “My sister (29f) is unemployed and has no education past college. In addition she has 5 kids and has recently found out she is pregnant with her 6th. Her partner is being let out of prison soon but will be on home detention and her current landlords don’t want him living in their house (he has historically been destructive of their property) so they’ve asked my sister to leave. She has until Feb next year to find a new place as that’s when their fixed term is up.”
“My sister approached me and asked to move into our place. I said if they didn’t find somewhere in time that they could stay with us temporarily but there wasn’t enough room to stay for more than a couple weeks and that 7 months was more than enough time to find a place. She basically said that there was plenty of room, partner and I could move into the office(less tha 10sqm in size), she and her partner would take our bedroom along with her youngest who is 2f and her other 4 (4m, 5m, 9f and 9m) would share the second ‘bedroom.'”
“I said absolutely not, if she was desperate I’d help her but I wasn’t going to give up the majority of our house that we’d worked our asses off for. She retaliated that I didn’t have kids so I didn’t know how hard life was and I pointed out that when our grandparents passed away she got the same 70k that I did as well as 15k for each of her children(that she had at the time) so why hadn’t she got a job and used that 130k as a deposit on a house for her children. She told me to f*ck off and that what she spent her money on was none of my business.”
Everyone in the OP’s family is hassling them, saying that the OP should let their sister move in. “My partner is completely against it due to the noise of 5 kids and a baby disturbing his work and my sister’s partner was a dick to him years ago before he went to prison. I don’t want to bend but at the same time my entire family is treating me like I’m a huge AH so I need some independent views,” the OP asked.
What did Redditors think?
“NTA and OMG do not let her in the door. She will ruin your life as she has ruined her own! How can your husband work from home if he has no office and there are little kids running everywhere. If you let her in your house (even in an emergency) it’s going to be a gigantic mess that will be incredibly hard to untangle. How WOULD you get them out if they refuse to leave? Absolutely no. State it once, twice, endlessly. Don’t engage in reasoning or discussion. Just say over and over again the exact same message, ‘The answer is no,'” advised IllustriousPomelo152.
“Also, OP, your whole family is getting down on you b/c you let your sister set the narrative. Contact everyone at once with an email explaining why you aren’t going to let her and her criminal husband (who won’t be able to leave your house once he’s in there) and her SIX CHILDREN UNDER TEN YEARS OLD into your home AND workplace. Then, when each one contacts you individually to harass you (turn your ringer off for a few weeks so they have to do this by text) respond with this: ‘Oh, good! I’m so glad you’re this concerned for her! I’ll tell her she can live with you!’ Then screen cap their text and text her and them together with ‘SISTER’S NAME, look! Cousin/Uncle SOANDSO is so concerned for your family’s well being that they’re willing to let you stay with them!’ Then let them sort out the mess. At the very least, they won’t harass you anymore,” said usernaym44.
“They have 7 months to find another place and get jobs, and they didn’t even try for 1 second they just went straight to op and demanded their house as if they didn’t have that time and other options, very clear they have no intention of ever leaving or being the least bit respectful of the house,” noted ratdigger.
“NTA. All righty then! There is so much going on here, I hardly know where to start. Your sister’s partner has been in prison. She is getting ready to have her SIXTH child. Can anyone say ‘birth control?’ She expects you and your partner to move into the office OF YOUR HOME so that SHE and her jailbird partner can move into a bedroom with one of the kids as well as the newborn and the four others would share the other bedroom? THEN when you object, she tells you to f*ck off and that how she spends her money IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS? What is astounding is that she had $130K to better her life and instead blew it and now expects you TO TAKE CARE OF HER AND HER FAMILY? Her sense of entitlement is beyond the pale. No, your entire family is the AHs. If they are so worried about your sister, THEY can let her and her family move in WITH THEM! DO. NOT. CAVE. You HAVE to go NC…FOREVER! DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN FOR EVEN A DAY!!! If you do, you will NEVER get her out of your house. Don’t even let her come to visit. She is toxic,” said patjames904.
Featured Image: Unsplash
