Kate Hackett
What if I told you the sister had sex in your bed…?
I personally find it really strange to be asked to pet sit and take it upon yourself to have people over– though I suppose a super close relationship might bend that rule. But still, there’s a bridge too far sometimes and I’m not entirely sure if this story from u/Independent-Time7659 is it or not.
OP headed overseas for a few weeks and his sister offered to housesit. She got a free place to crash, he had his stuff taken care of. Win-win!
I (28M) had to travel overseas for a couple weeks for work related reasons. My sister’s (19F) college is nearby, and she offered to feed my cats and water my plants while I was gone. I said sure thanks, and told her she was welcome to stay there while I was gone, since she lives in a dorm.
When OP came back, he noticed the boyfriend was there. No problem — until he realizes that his sister wasn’t just “washing” the sheets.
Anyway the day I got home, my sister was there with her boyfriend. That was fine, he’s always seemed like a cool guy, but one thing I noticed was that my sheets were still in my washer. I didn’t think much of it, I just assumed my sister waited to wash them, since she was using my bed while she was there. But she tells me, sorry, my boyfriend and I were “using” the bed last night.
OP was grossed out by this and both his sister and her boyfriend told him to relax.
That grossed me out. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable to not want people screwing in my bed. My sister told me to relax, and said I was being a prude American (her boyfriend is from Ireland). She said that we (meaning Americans) stigmatize sex, and that she washed the sheets so it’s fine.
OP remains grossed out and told his sister she isn’t welcome there.
I said no it’s not and told her to get out. She isn’t welcome there anymore. Our mother has been reaming me via text, saying I’m’m overreacting.
Okay, so PERSONALLY, yeah, I think he’s overreacting. His teenage sister made a mistake in etiquette; the way to handle it would be to tell her this wasn’t cool.
But I don’t really like her reaction either, which is to tell the brother to just chill out.
Ultimately, however, this is NOT a big deal; the sheets are washed. Get over it. Why is this a relationship-killing event?
One user pointed out, “I have stayed in multiple hotels, airbnbs and hostels, and if you think you haven’t slept in a bed that someone had sex in before……”
I found this response wildly reasonable too:
“Listen, I don’t like the idea of other people having sex in my bed. But my preference is to just not know. If there is no evidence (as in sheets are clean upon my return) it literally is not hurting me at all. I’ve definitely had friends housesit and I know their partners stayed over. Did they have sex in my bed? No idea, and frankly I don’t want to know. All I know is they were helping me out & kept my place clean. I don’t really think your sister is an asshole, but she’s an idiot for telling you. Especially because she was doing you a favor by house sitting, I’d advise you to let it go. I’m forgoing a judgment, but if I had to judge I’d be split between N A H and E S H.”
