Stephanie Barnes
Reddit’s Am I the A–hole? is one of the most popular forums on the internet.
It’s described as “a catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that’s been bothering you.”
And every day, people do just that. They share their conundrums to get the opinions of strangers all over the world.
In a recent viral thread, a woman is wondering whether she’s being a jerk for expecting her unemployed husband to reimburse money he spent on massages.
Financial issues in a marriage are often tricky to navigate. You promise “for richer or poorer” but when it comes to money, things can quickly get ugly. This is especially true when only one spouse is bringing in an income, and that’s the situation for u/throwPricematter1.
In her post, she revealed she recently discovered that her unemployed husband had been stealing her credit card to pay for overpriced massages.
She said she’s now pregnant and preparing for the birth of their child, but her husband refuses to ditch the expensive habits. Now, she’s looking to the internet for advice.
OP wants to know if she’s the a—hole for demanding he pays her the $1,000 he spent behind her back. Let’s dive into the details.
My husband (33) and I (31) used to have a 2 income home but in 2020 we’ve lost our home and one of our incomes (his). We moved into a smaller apartment, had to sell many things, and give up most of our “costly” habits. My husband has an expensive habit of going to the spa for a weekly massage session. We live in an urban area so this stuff is ridiculously expensive. A single session is $250, and he has to have it every week so that’d be nearly $1000 a month!
OP tried to compromise by booking her beau a session at a different spa, but he wasn’t having it.
I offered him to have his session at a regular spa but no, he has to get it from that luxurious spa near the restaurant we used to go saying the lady who gives the massage is an expert and he’s used to her.
And here’s the problem…
Problem is I’m the only income earner and I’m struggling to make ends meet. I’m also pregnant and need to save money to prepare a nursery. I told him to cut his sessions but he refused. I told him I won’t be paying for them anymore and he said he’d get the money himself.
The two are about to become three, which means money needs to be redirected.
Yesterday I checked and saw that he’s been using my credit card for his sessions for a whole month and had maxed out completely. I found that out when I went shopping for baby essentials and the cashier said I had no money.
I demanded he pay back the $1000 he spent but he refused, I yelled at him calling him irresponsible and he got upset and called me selfish and told me to stop playing the victim and that this is affecting both of us since he’s going to be a parent too and it’s stressful for him and I keep dismissing his own needs as a human.
He opted for the silent treatment.
I went upstairs and he went out. He started giving me the silent treatment, but I kept demanding the money back. He said I shouldn’t expect it back since we’re married then my money is technically his and I should stop using his unemployment against him.
At the end of the day, OP has been working her butt off full-time to provide for herself, her husband, and their unborn child. In the meantime, her husband feels his luxury massages trump all things. So, is she the a—hole?
Most Redditors agreed that this mama-to-be is totally and completely Not The A—hole.
Some Redditors were concerned the husband might also be cheating.
Take it from someone who knows…
So yea.
