Kate Hackett
Today we have a post from u/Dawn_In_Danger, who recently had an interaction with her brother in law that sent her straight to the arms of Reddit’s AITA sub because she wanted to know if she was wrong for leaving a pretty unwelcoming situation.
Before we dive in here, I just want to make sure everyone in the back knows a pretty basic biological fact: WOMEN HAVE PERIODS. We shed our uterine lining once a month. It is a thing.
Okay, let’s check out what happened to our poor OP.
My BIL just bought a new house. He lives about 4 hours from us. Last weekend my husband and I went to visit him for a few days and see the house for the first time.
OP got her period while she was staying the night with her brother-in-law. She and her husband cleaned the sheets thoroughly and any stains were entirely gone. But BIL was a dick about it.
Long story short, I got my period while I was sleeping and the guest room sheets had a small bloodstain (about the size of a quarter). My husband helped me strip the bed and I went down to the laundry room to pretreat and then wash the sheets. When they were done, the bloodstain was 100% gone but when we told my BIL he looked completely disgusted. He inspected the sheets super closely for a very long time and finally I was like “Jesus, BIL, if you’re looking that closely and can’t find a stain, can’t you trust me that I got it out?” He seemed really put out by the whole thing.
BIL then singled OP out and told her she couldn’t join the hot tub because she was on her period.
That night, we had plans to hang out in BIL’s hot tub in the backyard, but after dinner, he told me that I wasn’t allowed in the hot tub because of my period.
OP was pretty horrified; she explained that the leak was just because she didn’t have a tampon in since it was an unexpected bleed. BIL would not budge.
I was shocked and explained that the nighttime leak was because I hadn’t been expecting my period and had been fast asleep all night, but that it was perfectly safe and sanitary for me to put in a tampon and sit in the hot tub for an hour. But he wouldn’t budge.
Her husband argued with his brother and eventually OP and her spouse decided to leave.
My husband had my back and told him that he was being ridiculous, and it ended up turning into a big argument. Eventually my husband and I decided to pack our stuff and stay at a nearby hotel, and then we drove home the next morning.
Her brother in law is now angry with them and is demanding money for new sheets. The entire family was told and while they aren’t on OP’s side, they want nothing to do with this drama.
Now BIL is pissed at us for leaving and for not respecting his home. He also Venmo requested my husband $100 for new sheets, which he is refusing to pay (but trust that if the stain hadn’t come out, we would’ve been happy to replace them). He told his whole side of the family, who’ve decided to fully stay out of it (I wish they had our backs more but at least they’re not piling onto us).
So are husband and I AH for leaving and not paying for the sheets?
OP also added some edits, noting that there is NO medical risk whatsoever…
EDIT: I swore I’d never be one of those people who did this but to all the people who say ESH or YTA because of a certain risk (that I won’t mention here bc this isn’t a medical sub) I’ll just say that if BIL was worried about that risk for me, it would be a different story. He didn’t want me in the hot tub because “period blood is gross.”
And that she told her BIL because it’s not a secret.
EDIT #2: for everyone asking why I even told him, it’s because my period isn’t a dirty little secret, it’s a natural thing that happens to half of the adult population. And because I’m not going to sneak around like a cat burglar to do laundry. He heard the dryer buzz and asked about it and I told him.
OP also explains that yup, this dude has a girlfriend. And nope, he is not excused with some medical explanation.
EDIT #3: some more FAQs: BIL has a GF who doesn’t live with him. She hung out with us the first night (that was the first time I’d met her) but had to work the night of the argument so she wasn’t around. IDK what she thinks of the whole situation and I’m not going to reach out about it. And BIL isn’t on the spectrum, he doesn’t have OCD, and he’s not a germophobe. He just thinks it’s gross.
She also followed up with a joking update about using the hotel hot tub — not a spec of vagina blood!
EDIT #4: wow, this really blew up! Anyway, please trust that I know my body and my flow and that on the first full day of my period I know that I can wear a tampon for a while without leaking. FWIW we did go to the hotel hot tub after we checked on and I stayed in for 90 minutes and when I got out there was nary a speck of evil dirty vagina blood on my bathing suit.
Fortunately, Reddit knew right away that OP was not at all the jerk here.
“NTA. your BIL sounds like one of the worst types of humans ever. The types I avoid fiercely. Also $100 for sheets hahahah,” one user wrote.
