Patricia Grisafi
When bringing significant others around to family events, there’s always the risk of things being weird. But hopefully, your family is accepting and kind and doesn’t make you or your partner feel awkward or unwelcome. Unfortunately, there are families — or family members, in the case of this Redditor — who have very strict ideas about who should be invited to events.
The OP’s husband has “traditional” ideas about who gets to come to family parties — and basically, if you’re not married to someone in the family, you’re not welcome.
“My husband is an extremely religious and traditional guy and he’s not a fan of couples introducing each other to family unless they’re ready to get married. He only met my family for the first time after our engagement and that’s when I met his as well. I didn’t grow up like this but it’s truly something that does not bother me at all, or else I wouldn’t have married him,” the OP writes.
“My brother used to date a different girl every month for 2 years straight. My husband didn’t mind about my brother’s dating life but he’d flip out if anyone even thought of allowing my brother to let any of his flings visit family gatherings. My brother wasn’t planning to but he got mad over how heated my husband was over this and told me over and over on who he chooses to bring over to family events is none of my husband’s business.”
“For the past 1.5 year, my brother has been dating this girl and they’re pretty serious. I’ve met her, so has my husband. She seems like a very nice and sweet person. They’ve also expressed how they may get engaged soon.”
“The drama had started during Xmas holidays. My husband and I told my parents that if they host Xmas in their house they better notify my brother that his gf is not invited. My parents were mad we requested that, called us unreasonable but ended up following through. My brother wasn’t too pleased and he was mad on Xmas day that we didn’t include his gf. I reminded him that once they make it official she will be allowed to come and it’s not personal against her. He was still mad and he said this is the last time this is happening.”
“Last weekend was my mom’s bday and due to the fact she’s spent her bday alone with my dad for two years straight she wanted to do something special this year and host a nice party. Before the party my husband reminded my mom of the no gf rule. My mom flipped out at him and so did my dad and they told us we are being extreme with this and they have no right to dictate who enters their house in family events and that my brother’s gf will tag along whenever she wants whether we like it or not. My brother ended up coming to the party with his gf and he acted like a champion for defeating my husband on this one. My husband was mad the entire night and wouldn’t speak to a soul. Before we left he only told my brother ‘you must feel proud for acting like a c*nt.’ My entire family who was invited at my mom’s party was calling us TAs for having this rule in the first place.”
I mean, it’s a ridiculous rule. Definitely time to reevaluate what it even means and why it seems so important. What do Redditors think?
“YTA. Who the hell does your husband think he is to dictate who can or cannot come to a gathering that has nothing to do with him and he is not even hosting? If you had a small and intimate dinner party at your own house, sure, the guest list might be more restricted. But this is a party for your mom in her house, and she has expressed that she wants the gf to be there. It’s none of your husband’s (or yours) business who your brother brings along. If your husband doesn’t like it, he can stay home,” said Tiny_European.
“‘I reminded him that once they make it official she will be allowed to come.’ My word, who do you and your husband think you are? Of course YTA, both of you. If something offends your husband HE should be the one staying away, not dictating who can and cant go to family gatherings! And then your husband has the absolute nerve to call your brother a c**t?! What the actual fu*k? If I were a member of your family, I would stop inviting you and your husband to ANY party regardless of who else was going,” stated CrunchyCookies51.
“YTA – you choose who you invite if you’re the host but if you’re not the host then it’s not up to you, and you should be polite to all the other guests whether you approve or not,” said londonhousewife.
“I believe that what you meant to open with is that your husband is extremely controlling and psychotic, religion and tradition have nothing to do with this. He has brainwashed you into thinking this is ok behaviour at all. YTA but your husband is a bigger one,” said Hurts_dont_it_Steve.
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