Kate Hackett
Men seem to think they are allowed to make comments about women’s outfits and sartorial choices far too often. That’s exactly what u/throwawaybday927 posted about on the famed Am I The Asshole subreddit.
One daughter asked if she was wrong “for calling my dad a creepy pervert for making comments about how my running clothes are too revealing?”
OP is a 19-year-old woman and has started running. It’s hot in SoCal, so she wore a sports bra and shorts.
I (19f) picked up running as a new hobby and was going for a run outside today. It’s hot where I live (Southern California).
Her dad made some comments and told OP to change out of it.
My dad saw my running clothes (a running sports bra and nike shorts) and made rude comments about it like how it’s so revealing and that you can see my cleavage and inner thighs in it. He insisted I change out of it.
OP called her father a pervert for commenting on her body. Her dad became very upset.
I called him a creepy pervert for making these comments about my body when I’m literally just in standard exercise clothes (and btw men go on runs shirtless all the time!). He got really upset and is now not talking to me or making eye contact with me.
When she asked him what was wrong, her dad said he was very offended.
I asked him what his deal is and he said i was extremely offensive and unfair to him and that he’d never thought I’d call him something like that.
So OP is left to wonder if she was wrong. She also clarifies that he told her specifically how revealing her outfit was AFTER she pressed.
So now I feel bad but I don’t feel like I was wrong to say what I was feeling at the time?
AITA? Do I owe him an apology?
Edit: clarifying something for objectivity’s sake His comment about the cleavage and inner things thing was after he insisted it was too revealing and inappropriate and I asked him what about it was too revealing and inappropriate and that’s when he said the cleavage and inner thighs comment.
I’m inclined to say ESH and Reddit seems to have my back.
Here’s my reasoning:
If I was wearing a see-through outfit, I’d want to know so I can make the decision to change or not. It’s NOT dad’s place to demand she change, but it’s FINE for him to gently, kindly, say something. It’s not cool to call someone a pervert, especially your dad, over a comment.
Some people did agree with me.
“Love the leap from a dad making a comment on what OP is wearing thinking it is inappropriate for public to him being a fragile ego man who is also a creepy pervert. Seriously OP could have called him out and say that there’s nothing wrong with what she’s wearing, but instead she called out that he’s a creepy pervert. Do you know how severe is that accusation to just throw around?” one user wrote.
Another said, “”Dad, I know you mean well, but I’m 19 and I’m old enough to pick out my own clothes. Women don’t have to cover themselves up anymore just so that creepy men leave them alone. We have a right to live our lives without being harassed.” and “You’re a creepy pervert.” Bc creepy perverts belong on a sex offender registry. YTA.”
“Uh, it’s fair for her to disagree with her dad but saying his concern is creepy and perverted is sort of a reach. He’s asking her to cover up, not to reveal more and let’s not act so befuddled that an older person could still have conservative ideas about modesty,” wrote in a third.
