Patricia Grisafi
After giving birth, your primary focus is on keeping your child fed. So you spend a lot of time nursing. Your body has likely gone through tons of changes, and you might be extra sensitive about how you look. That’s totally normal! Some folks love their postpartum body and others are not comfortable with it.
One Redditor who is the latter prefers to breastfeed in privacy so her partner doesn’t observe her body. One day, he came in the room and proceeded to comment on the size of her breasts. This upset the OP, and she told him he was banned from being around her while nursing. He said it was a compliment — but is it really a compliment if it makes the person feel uncomfortable?
“My fiancé and I ended our engagement early on in my pregnancy but we got back together a week before our baby was born. Our daughter is 3 weeks old and I don’t like breastfeeding in front of people as I’m self-conscious but I used to let my fiancé stay in the same room.”
“A few days ago, though, I kicked him out and banned him from being in the same room as me while I fed our daughter because he made a comment about how my boobs were a lot bigger now. I don’t think he said it to be nasty and he did say it was just an observation but it made me feel insecure since I haven’t been naked in front of anybody, even him, since my body has changed so I got upset with him hence the ban.”
“I told his parents what happened after they assumed I was making him leave the room because I wanted him to keep them company while I fed our daughter. His mother was very angry at him and she told him off. Now, he’s upset with me and keeps insisting I’m making a big deal out of nothing because it was a compliment since he likes my boobs.”
People should keep comments about women’s postpartum bodies to themselves!
“NTA You are recovering from giving birth. Your hormones are still very much different than they will be. I hope you can feel better about your body, Dear. It is kind of a process after childbirth. I am happy your BF’s mom seems to understand.” —
“Postpartum isn’t the time for ‘observations’ about a new mother’s body. Even ones that, ‘to some…would be a compliment.'” —
“It’s not a compliment. No comment about someone body changing is a compliment. Saying ‘oooh you’ve lost weight!’ Isn’t a compliment. I can’t stress this enough. Do not comment on people’s bodies. Ever.” —
“People do stupid things. It was a stupid comment to make. It was not a mean comment. It was not an inherently harmful comment. When my boobs started to grow during pregnancy and my husband commented on that, I knew it was a compliment and I accepted it as such. Stupid does not always equal AH.” —
“My biggest thing is how he is doubling down on it. Like instead of realizing how much it upset her and apologizing to her, he’s throwing it in her face and essentially saying she’s being too sensitive and needs to get over it.” —
“Yeah, my husband made allllll the boob jokes when I was breastfeeding. And it was great: him making me laugh is part of why our relationship works. And I thought it was kind of nice to have any part of me deemed sexy while I was still wearing hospital mesh underwear. They are in a weird place in their relationship, and I think they’re going to have to be really patient with each other and be really good communicators to make it work. And I think part of that is her ASKING him to stop before throwing him out of the room. And he needs to take the note and stop making comments on her body.” —
