Kate Hackett
Real question: would you walk about in your undergarments if you had guests at your house? I sure wouldn’t, but I also have no problems slightly altering my daily routine when I have people staying with me.
Reddit does, admittedly, tend to “NTA” everybody for everything in their own home under the guise of “IT’S YOUR BODY/HOUSE/DO WHAT YOU WANT” and — at the risk of going off on a rant here — I think it’s an incredibly self-centered take, and one that has permeated to pretty much every level of our society. I hate it.
So how will I feel about u/Princessleiawastaken‘s question? Well, let’s read on and I’ll let you know at the end.
I (24 F) am an ICU RN working with patients suffering from a wide variety of communicable diseases (MRSA, C-Diff, COVID, ect.). It’s inevitable that some germs get on my clothes so I take off my scrubs the minute I get in the house. I come in through a laundry room, take off my clothes down to bra and underwear, and put the scrubs directly in the washing machine.
OP explains that she’s a nurse for patients with communicable diseases and she rips her scrubs off when she gets into her home. FIRST QUESTION: you’re in your car for X period of time, right, OP? So…
This week my brother (30 M) and SiL (30F) are staying at my house because their landlord decided to redo the floors at theirs. It was inconvenient for the landlord to do these loud renovations because both my brother and SiL work from home and need to be on business calls. Staying with me has helped them a lot.
OP’s brother and sister in law are both staying with her while they have some work done at their house. NBD. Until…
However, there was an issue when I came home from work the other day. I took off my clothes in the laundry room like always and walked down the hall, past the living room, and into my bedroom in my underwear/bra like I always do. My brother and SiL looked horrified.
When I got re-dressed and came out of my room my SiL had locked herself in her room and my brother was pissed off. He yelled at me for “walking around naked” in front of them. I explained to him why and pointed out I was not naked, I was wearing a bra and underwear. My brother said that’s the same as being naked.
OP did her normal thing, stripping into her bra and underwear in the laundry room and walking to her room in front of them. Sister in law was upset and her brother scolded her.
I said it’s not, and the bra/underwear are less revealing than some of the bathing suits they’d seen me wear without complaint. He said it’s “different” when it’s a bathing suit vs. underwear. I asked if the different fabric makes him uncomfortable, he told me not to be a smartass.
OP points out: it’s just like a bathing suit. OP’s brother’s a little dumb, it’s NOT different, but he says it is.
It’s everyday non-sexy underwear. It’s not like I was wearing lingerie. It’s plain black underwear and a basic bra.
The brother says he should apologize, but OP refused. He also suggested OP keep a change of clothes in the laundry room (seems easy) but now OP is in a snit and WILL NOT.
My brother told me I should apologize to my SiL for making her uncomfortable and not do it again. He likened it to the crime of flashing! I laughed because that was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard. There was no sexual aspect. Would he rather I spread COVID around the house? He told me to keep a change of clothes in the laundry room and get dressed in there. I told him this is my house, I’ll do what I want.
He told our parents. They sided with him, saying it’s too uncomfortable for a brother to see his sister in underwear. I pointed out that when we were teenagers he would walk around the house in just boxers all the time! I was showing less skin than he was and I actually had reason. My brother said it’s different because he’s a guy.
The brother then tattled (BOI WOT) to their parents and the parents tried to mediate, pointing out that it’s a little uncomfortable for a brother to see his sister half naked. OP did some whataboutisms. Always a great arguing tactic.
Tonight when I got home from work, I got undressed in the laundry room and walked through the house to my room in my bra/underwear. My brother stomped off. SiL is giving me the silent treatment. My mom is begging me to just change in the laundry room to placate them despite acknowledging that I’m not naked, it’s nothing sexual, I’m the one who actually lives here, and it’s a sexist societal expectation.
So she repeats the behavior, making her guests uncomfortable. And ends it with “I think this is ridiculous.” YES. YOU ARE.
I still think this is ridiculous. Am I the asshole?
Jesus Christ, just CHANGE AT WORK or CHANGE IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM for a week or two or whatever. What is WRONG with this girl?
