Kate Hackett
I’ll be real with you: I know my drink order is terrible. A diet vodka? Did I even graduate from college? WTF drink is that? And when, God love ’em, the bartender hesitatingly asks, “What kind of vodka?” hoping beyond hope that I won’t pick the GOOD kind because why would I do that to a vodka, I at least have the decency to snort-laugh while pointing to like, Popov or whatever.
So we took to Reddit and the BuzzFeed community. to share just how bartenders view your drinks. I promise, yours is less mortifying than mine.
1. Wild
“Tequila on the rocks with lime: You are a wild party person and you love to tell stories about what said tequila made you do.”—deleted
2. Green Fairy
“If you order absinthe, I’m going to assume that you have at least five leather-bound books from the 1800s and maybe like, three friends.”—jconway
3. Gin & T
“Gin & Tonic with cucumber: You’re a housewife and your husband didn’t notice your new fancy shoes, which made you upset at first, but then you realized it doesn’t matter because you’re possibly having an affair with the pool boy.”—u/CitizenWolfie
4. A good fight
“The guy who orders a Jack and Coke is just waiting for a good fight in a couple of hours.”—u/GoodLivinPete
5. Mule
“Moscow Mule: You’re just really excited to drink something out of a shiny copper cup.” —u/-ThatsNotIrony-
6. High-functioning, though
“I assume that people who order martinis are high-functioning alcoholics.”—deleted
7. Shots!
“A shot of Fernet basically translates to ‘I am a bartender from San Francisco.” —whyamithewalrus
8. A well known truth
“Long Island Iced Tea is international alcoholic lingo for ‘I’m just here to get f*ed up.'”—u/saditerranean
9. Aww.
“If you order a Shirley Temple I assume you’re joking… or you’re sober.” —u/smallerthings
10. But RICH
“A glass of Chardonnay: you’re probably married to an old rich guy.”—u/erikarew
11. Labor jobs
“If you order a Bud Light, Miller Light, or Budweiser with a shot of whiskey, you probably work in a manual labor-intensive job.” —u/Modod_
12. Vacation!
“Any frozen blended drinks means you’re either high maintenance and/or on vacation and you don’t know what else to order.”—helenrg
13. I love this image.
“Mint Julep: You’re probably the descendant of an 18th century plantation owner, you’re wearing a sear-sucker suit, and probably carrying a cane.”—u/lord_newt·
14. You’re a child
“If you order a drink with a funny name off the actual cocktail menu, I’m going to assume you’re underage.”—kd92
15. This is a journey
“Whiskey Sour: You’re a young guy, in your early to mid ’20s, and you used to drink whiskey and coke. You switched to whisky sours because you thought it was more respectable and/or because your friends started to make fun of you. It’s as sweet as you can get away with while still being a ‘whisky drink’ and not a ‘drink for chicks.'” —u/fragilestories
16. Hipster
“Negroni: You’re probably thinking you taste in cocktails is as complex as your record collection and facial hair.”—u/NewYooserMan·
17. Aw, I like lemon drops
“If you order a Lemon Drop I’m going to go ahead and assume you’re high maintenance and not very nice.” —u/hashtagpueb
18. Rather be outside
“Corona with lime: You’d much rather be at an outdoor barbecue than stuck at this pub.”—u/CitizenWolfie
19. Hoo man, fireballs. Nope.
“Fireball with soda makes me think you’re under 25, you don’t yet know your limit, and you very well could end the night throwing up all over the dance floor.” —u/rondell_jones
20. No between
“A double brandy and Coke means you’re probably from South Africa…or Wisconsin.” —u/Scarlet_Rad
