Kate Hackett
We journeyed over to AskReddit this morning to check out a thread from u/ConstantFig1078. He or she asked:
“What’s the best “porn logic” you have ever seen?”
And the answers were fantastic. We weeded through and found some of the best — enjoy!
1. Baths
I take baths exclusively in the hopes a hot lifeguard is going to show up.
2. A lesson
This mom found her son’s bully and taught him a lesson by fucking him.
3. Logic!
There is this German classic, where a plumber arrives wearing a latex mask and the girl shows him the pipes in the cellar. For some reason there is straw on the ground. The dialogue goes as follows: Him: “Why is there straw laying around?” Her: “Why do you wear a mask?” Him: “Well then blow me.” The rest is history. To this day, experts are still in awe of the logical soundness of the exchange.
4. Miracles
My hand is caught in the sink. Oh, you’re about to cum? Miraculously it comes loose and I can get on my knees.
5. Heat
Girl: It sure is hot today.
Guy: if we have sex, it’ll seem cooler afterwards
Girl: okay
6. Messes
The babysitter baked a cake while the dad was gone but she made a huge mess So he got angry and fucked her all over and made an even bigger mess But this time it was okay.
7. Giant sexist
Yoga instructor is a blatant sexist and chauvinist who basically is sexually assaulting these 3 women. They decide the best way to punish and shame him is to fuck him.
8. Wrong gadget
“knock knock, hello I’m the plumber who comes to fix your computer”
9. Oblivious
“Is that the sound of my wife clapping cheeks and/or slurping the chrome off another dude’s dick in the kitchen? Nah, lemme just keep watching TV.”
10. POWER LIFT
This one actually killed my boner. Classic personal trainer vibe going on and he’s like “I just haven’t been lifting as much lately. I feel weaker.” And she’s like okay maybe if we bang you’ll be stronger. WHILE THIS DUDE IS ACTIVELY BENCH PRESSING, she’s riding his dick and says “Are you feeling stronger?” and he just yells “I FEEL THE POWER!” And starts power lifting like 10lbs.
I died laughing and called it a day for porn.
11. Magic blankets
Whole family sitting on the couch watching movie. “Mom” and “dad” are entirely oblivious to “brother” and “sister” fucking/sucking/jacking right next to them because ✨blanket✨
12. Wild changes of heart
“No I won’t have sex with you, you’re my BROTHER!”
“But dad’s not home…”
“Are you sure?”
touches brother’s cock
13. It’s not working
There’s this one where a step mom and son are sleeping in the same bed and while they are laying in bed she goes “what’s that poking me? Do you have an erection?” She lifts up the covers and his dick is hanging out of his underwear. She tells him to try to make it go away and think other things. “It’s not working.” He says. She then suggests that he place his dick against her panties while spooning so that they can get some rest. For some reason didn’t work either so then she says “Well what if you just put it inside just a little bit? Now let’s try to get some rest.”
14. Uncomfortable
“I’m going to deflower you in the most complicated and realistically uncomfortable position imaginable.”
15. Lesbians
Every woman will be a lesbian under the right circumstances.
16. First Time
Someone’s “first time” sucking a dick yet they suck it like an Olympic Dick Sucking contender.
17. Massages
It seems that every woman who goes to get a massage and every man and woman who give massages, are really just looking for sex, and they’re willing to do it on a massage table.
18. That’s weird and it’s rape
Oh no my hands and upper body are stuck in this washing machine which means i cant use my legs to prevent my step brother from raping me.
19. Age & hotness
Any nice, young girl will happily stop to talk to an old, fat, ugly, weird looking guy holding a camera, accept a couple of hundreds for going to a hotel room for “modeling”, and then accept to have unprotected sex for a couple more. And of course, she enjoys to be fucked by someone who look like that uncle your parents never talk about and is not invited to family reunions anymore since he was fired from his job at a school.
20. Stop sleeping
There’s a video where the girl rightly asks why the guy is attempting to fuck her whilst she sleeps, and he retorts “Well why are you sleeping when I’m trying to fuck you?” Couldn’t go on I laughed way too much.
