Kate Hackett
Sure, sure, sure, sometimes we all say just dopey stuff and brain-fart our way through an afternoon. It happens.
But the people in this list take it to all new heights.
Redditor u/Xlh883dragster wrote in to ask Reddit:
“What’s something you’ve heard someone say that was so incredibly, mind-numbingly stupid that you’ll remember it the rest of your life?”
Prepare to feel really good about yourself.
1. Bones
a guy i knew thought that bones were made of wood.
2. Good lord
Met a nursing student who more or less believed the cure to cancer was “pretending like you don’t have cancer.”
3. Great plan!
I was addicted to inhalants at the time and told a buddy of mine. He suggested I quit and switch to meth. He’s in jail now.
4. Bless her heart
My friend once thought Aloe Vera was some European model who was hired for every cosmetic commercial because they would always say the product name and then “with aloe vera” as they showed models in the back dancing or washing their face or whatever. He thought she was one of them.
I believe the direct quote was something to the effect of “it’s crazy how she gets hired for literally every single commercial”.
This was in like 1995.
5. Not how it works
One of my best friends was convinced that Sweden and Finland were the same country and that Iceland didn’t exist
6. Buddy, no
Coworker couldn’t figure out why Alaska was cold and Hawaii was hot because “they’re next to each other on the map”
7. SIGH
How do dogs in China learn Chinese. He was under the assumption that dogs just naturally spoke English.
8. IN COLLEGE
In my college there was a boy who asked what planet all these illegal aliens were from.
9. Oh, girl.
New girl at work…she was horrified that we eat the eggs that come from our chickens. She insisted store bought were normal good eggs. She then really blew my mind when she said she doesn’t eat chicken, so she only buys “hens”. She about had a panic attack when I explained hen is just lady chicken. Very sheltered
10. TWO of them!
Once when I took a class trip to Washington DC we went to a museum and saw a reenactment of something featuring George washington on a big screen. While we were watching it I heard two girls from the front row. One of them asked the other, “Is this real footage?” And the other then replied, “No, if it was real it would be in black and white.”
11. Oi, what?
Friend: “I’ve always wondered how goats grow into deer in the wild but stay goats at the farm.”
Me: “Ayo what the fuck?”
Friend: “I know, crazy, right? With ponies at least you can see them grow into horses but the goats??”
12. Could be!
A woman in my office asked another woman if “The Martian” with Matt Damon was based on a true story and the other woman said she wasn’t sure.
13. Not enough proof?
I used to work as a paralegal and had to fight with Social Security when they accused my clients of fraud. Got on a call with an agent who insisted my client was faking the disability her daughter had. The daughter died of the disability and it says it on the death certificate. The agent told me it wasn’t enough proof.
14. Seems obvious
Why Mexico’s Independence Day isn’t the same as the US’s.
15. Um. Yes?
my friend once turned around to me and said “i don’t believe in oxygen”
16. Read a book
In my freshman year of college, a biology professor started his semester with a speech about how science is how we explain everything in the modern world through experiments and peer review. A girl next to me had a smug look on her face and said, “If science can explain everything then why are people still doing experiments? Can’t science just explain it? I mean just read a book.” It took me a while to realize her wisdom and then it took me even longer to hold down my laughter.
17. Baby …cows… bro…
‘It’s really weird how cows developed udders so humans could drink their milk. How did that evolution come about?’ – my brother, forgetting that baby cows exist
18. Tipping islands
Hank Johnson, a senator from Georgia, testified that he was worried about all of the troops being sent to Guam, because the island may tip over.
19. I see no issues
A flight was delayed due to snow on the runway, a woman complained saying “damn it this happens every year, why don’t they put a roof over the runway or something”.
20. Uhm. Sir.
A professor at Belmont once told me that cars could never run on electricity, because there are no electric components of a car.
I wasn’t sure where to go from there
