A lot of unexpected topics come out of the woodwork on Reddit and this particular topic offers solid advice from burglars.
One r/AskReddit post that goes down in history comes from u/AsleepFondant. In a 2019 post, they pondered the following:
“Former burglars of Reddit, where is one place people should never hide valuables?”
The burglars came through with some clutch advice that’s worth taking and everyone else added in their tips or personal examples where a burglar got their comeuppance.
Here are 20 ways to bamboozle a burglar.
1.
“LED lighting is cheap these days.
If your house is gonna be vacant for a while, consider investing in one of those smart-lighting home automation systems where you can set different rooms to turn on and off at different points in the day. (Kitchen during dinnertime, bedrooms at night, etc.)
My neighbor did that and it fooled me. I rang his doorbell to ask to borrow a pressure washer wand, with no response. Figured he was with family and wasn’t taking any more visitors, but turns out he’s been on vacation for the past four days.” – COSAS
2.
“This doesn’t exactly answer the question asked, but it is a tip on potentially protecting your valuables. Bear with me because it’s a bit strange: Glue a spare key (not one that opens something important) under your door mat. Weird right?
A few years ago I did this in addition to installing cameras. Over the last couple of years I’ve seen this exact scenario play out: thief walks to the door, checks under the mat, unsuccessfully tries to grab the key, backs up, looks around to see if anyone is watching (presumably because they think they have fallen for some trap/prank where they are being surveilled), and LEAVES. They don’t even search for another way in because it spooks them.” – aj9811
3.
“For the college kids that might read this, dont keep your textbooks in your car. On the day of my finals I had about 6 textbooks I was gonna sell after my finals, I left the books in my car while I took my tests. Came back to find someone broke my window out to steal the textbooks. Cop told me that it’s very common and unlikely they will catch the guy, so I was out ~$700, which was huge as a college student.” – zepaperclip
4.
“Someone will be in for a surprise if they open the safe I keep in my night stand. It’s full of my kids baby teeth.” – SaltyMerms
5.
“I had a malamute dog years ago, had another two later, but this was a particularly fluffy one. A friend had heard that it was possible to spin their fur, so I saved enough to knit several jumpers.
Anyway, a burglar took stuff from our garage and this massive box of fur too, must’ve been quite a surprise.” – Wolfie_Rankin
6.
“A burglar stole my dad’s box of dried up dog shit from the porch once.
My dad goes out in the yard once a week to clean up the dog turds and usually throws them in an Amazon box an then tosses it. He left it on the porch for some reason and forgot about it. He realized he forgot about it when he saw it spilled open on the street a block down.
We laugh about the Turd Burglar still” – Ol_Man_Rambles
7.
“Obligatory never done it but you’d be surprised at how often people leave their cars unlocked with nice things inside. A lot of people actually leave them unlocked with the keys inside lol, it’s how the majority of cars are stolen. Eliminating the easy opportunity is the easiest step and will do a lot to keep your valuables safe.” – S0nd
8.
“My cousin lives in a bad neighborhood, so she went to a thrift store, bought an obvious looking jewelry box and a bunch of expensive looking costume jewelry that’s actually worthless and put it in the box. She keeps this in a conspicuous place. Then she leaves a few 20’s on top. This way if someone breaks in, they will grab this and run, ignoring some of her well hidden valuables.” – downwarddawg
9.
“Don’t leave things out that people can see from outside your home or car.
If you buy a new TV or computer break down the box it came in. Don’t just leave it by your garbage bin.
Lock doors and windows.
Keep your handbag close and closed.
If someone wants to break in they will. Don’t keep everything out in the open. And have insurance on anything that is valuable.” – Auferstehen78
10.
“Burglars will break in somewhere, but by having better security than your neighbors they might not pick your house.” – DemocraticRepublic