Hoo boy, let’s start this workday off with a bang! RELIGION.
Nothing wrong with believing in a higher power and there’s nothing wrong with being a member of a community.
In my opinion, where things start to go sideways is when a religious person begins forcing their beliefs onto another person.
CUT TO: u/Dreammare56 recently asked Reddit:
And we have answers that are absolutely FULL of religious folks being weird and overbearing about … nonsense. Total nonsense.
I’ve rounded up the 20 best answers for you. Get ready for a chuckle and an eye roll.
My mom was terrified I’d accidentally summon a demon playing yugioh
2. Masters of the Universe
“Masters of the Universe”. It was back in the 80’s. My crazy, over the top, religious aunt said ,” it’s satanic! There is only ONE master of the universe and it’s god!!!” 6 yo me rolled my eyes so hard, I’m sure you could hear the noise it made.
3. WHAT. Rocks?!
Rocks. I’m a rock hound, and collect rocks, gems, and stones. The link between crystals and spirituality has gotten me called a devil worshipper…for liking rocks. I don’t even use them spiritually, I just like shiny shit.
A microscope. An acquaintance of mine called a microscope a “gift from the devil” because it makes people question the divine plan.
Dancing in general.
6. Anything magic or monsters
My dad wouldn’t let me watch anything that had magic or monsters because he thought it would let demons into the house. This included power rangers, Ben 10, H20 just add water, harry potter, scooby doo and more.
The most ridiculous one was not letting me watch Jessie on Disney channel. This had no magic or monsters but he thought that the pet lizard one of the characters had represented the snake that deceived Eve into eating the apple.
7. All beauty
A friends wife once got into some religious thing where anything of beauty was satanic. Flowers, scenery, anything beautiful. Satan was luring you with its beauty.
8. Ear piercing
Once I had a classmate and she had a cartilage piercing, We had an assembly and this group of people people with puppets came and told the story of easter, at the end we were walking out and one of the people from the group walked over to my classmate and said “what is that thing on your ear?” She said its a cartilage piercing and the person from the group walked over to where the group was packing their stuff and said “She has definitely got to have worshipped the devil. That disgusting ear piercing shes got.”
9. Deviled eggs
I knew this Christian lady that refused to eat deviled eggs.
10. Hot Cheetos
Without a shred of sarcasm I once heard an evangelical describe hot cheetos as a product of the devil.
11. Darth Vader Screensaver
Back in the 90’s my family had a home pc. We didn’t have much so this computer was a big deal to my brothers and I. For school work and some good ole fashioned DOS games. My dad managed to figure out how to get a screen saver with sound onto the computer, was quite proud of himself too. He failed to mention this screensaver to my mother who is VERY religious.
So one day I am sitting in highschool and get called to the principals office mid 2nd period. Now I am a darn near straight A student, who didn’t get in trouble ever. So this isn’t something that has ever happened to me. I get to the office, and I was told my mother called and was very very distraught and I needed to head home to be with her. I hear the secretary telling another office staff that she was losing her mind, and a few variations to that effect.
I rush home to find the pastor from church, performing an exorcism on our computer. My mother praying fervently through gasping sobs. The pastor and my mother prayed for sometime, before my dad came home. My dad gets home mad he was called home then he just starts laughing hysterically. Calls my mom a few variations of dumb, goes and wiggles the mouse to bring the computer up and plays the darth vader screen saver he added to the computer. “Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant” “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” “You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny.” You know all the come to the darkside quotes. With a picture of darth vaders face. Of course my mother couldn’t get the computer to do it again because she kept messing with it, and it never went back to sleep mode. So of course her first thought was we had a evil satanic computer possessed by the devil himself. The pastor just quietly snuck out with me during my dads laughing and my moms sobs.
12. Care bears
My wife’s mother pulled her out of the carebears movie when she was a kid because the bears were casting satanic spells out of their stomachs. My wife still holds a grudge.
13. Country song
The 80’s country music song ‘Elvira’ by the Oak Ridge Boys. They were convinced they were singing ‘Hell Fire Up’ instead of ‘Elvira’.
I’m not joking or lying. When I was a kid, early 90’s, there was a “God Botherer” protesting outside a Superdrug (UK Pharmacy chain) screaming about the Satanism of feminine hygiene products corrupting women into sin. This God Botherer was a woman. 🤦♂️🤣
15. So many weird things in the 70s
Back in the 70s it was a lot of stupid: bar codes. The little symbol on Proctor & Gamble products. Yoga and/or meditation. Lots of different music by different artists. My small town Christian private school had a particular teacher who was absolutely dying mad about his students’ fondness for Michael Jackson, AC/DC, and other bands of the time.
The funniest one of all was dancing. The joke around my (conservative Christian) college in the 80s was that sex was outlawed because it could lead to dancing… for some bizarre reason the administration thought dancing was totally evil.
A toothache. “The devil is trying to enter my body.” Was the quote. Initially i thought they were making a weird joke. They were serious.
17. A movie
The movie Jumanji. Couldn’t watch it until I was like 12 because my mom thought it was about a ouija board because the pieces moved by themselves.
I remember a lady saying she refused to eat mushrooms, they were satanic because they grew in the dark.
19. Bunny hat
My grandma bought this cute bunny hat to wear. She loves hats because her head gets cold. This bunny ear hat was her favorite. She wore it to church and the pastor told her it was a demonic hat, grabbed it from her head, and threw it into the trash (so I’m told, i wasn’t there).
She came home without her hat and was pissed. The church people came over to perform an EXORCISM because she was possessed by the devil.
I remember going upstairs hearing a group of church people sign hymns loudly while the pastor was forcing his hand on my grandma’s head.
I was a kid when this happened and remembered feeling angry and confused. My mom told me to go downstairs. I wish those bitches would come back and try that same shit. I’ll personally throw them out the house.
20. This one is so odd
DnD, but strangely enough not the Lord of the Rings.