16 People Share Famous Quotes That Are Total B.S.

Think of every famous quote you’ve ever heard. How many of those do you think are true, or actually carry weight? Some of them don’t even make sense, really.

People are sharing famous quotes that are total B.S. in this viral AskReddit thread, and they’re all pretty spot-on if you ask me.

What famous quote is complete BS?

u/SavBeeing


1.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your own permission.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

Yeah, right. Mom, don’t make me feel inferior. Too bad, kid, you’re stuck with me and I’ll abuse you until you’re 18. Then let’s see if you can grow your self-esteem back.

Close-Up Shot of a Statue
Photo by Pedro Gutierrez on Pexels

2.

“Always be yourself”. Absolutely not, be the better version of yourself.

3.

“If you ain’t first, you’re last!”

There are lots of things you could be, like second, or third!

4.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” – Albert Einstein.

Albert Einstein never said this.

This is not the definition of insanity or anywhere close.

No one nearly as intelligent as Albert Einstein would possibly have said something this dumb.

man in yellow and blue hoodie wearing eyeglasses
Photo by Taton Moïse on Unsplash

5.

“Live, Laugh, Love”

– (as I lay in bed brooding with dark thoughts, alone, silently criticizing happy people)

6.

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry”.

Even the actress who said it said it was a stupid line.

white and black wooden frame
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

7.

Life is like a box of chocolates, you’ll never know what you’re going to get.

Just look at the inside of the lid, Forrest Gump.

But seriously older folks will tell you that they didn’t always print a legend on the box top. Back in the ’70s, you had to go by trial and error. I hate coconut and 90% of the coconut I’ve ingested in my life is from biting into a piece of chocolate in an unmarked box.

8.

As much as I love Star Wars, “Do or do not, there is no try” is utter BS.
You should not be discouraged from trying something.

Trying is how we get good at things. This phrase is not only discouraging, but it’s useless when teaching someone.

Trying is a necessary part of doing.

selective focus photography of Star Wars Stormtroopers
Photo by Agnieszka Kowalczyk on Unsplash

9.

“Everything happens for a reason.”

I hate that saying.

I bet the family of a young child dying of brain cancer hates it even more.

10.

The truth always lies somewhere in the middle.

That’s bs.

11.

Money doesn’t buy happiness.

No, but it alleviates the misery of poverty.

I would rather cry on my private jet, than cry on a public bus.

100 US dollar banknote
Photo by Vladimir Solomianyi on Unsplash

12.

“You can do anything you set your mind to.”

No, actually some people are incapable of certain things.

A good example is Arnold Schwarzenegger will never be president of the U.S. no matter how great of a politician he is.

13.

“There is nothing to fear, but fear itself.”

Nope, there are a hell of a lot of things you should be afraid of other than simply the emotion of fear. In fact, we have the fear of emotion to protect us from those things.

14.

“Happiness is a choice”. Eff the eff off. It’s not.

red love neon light signage
Photo by Stan B on Unsplash

15.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

Sad ethnic woman crying after being bullied by multiracial male students
Photo by Keira Burton on Pexels

16.

“They laugh at me because I’m different, I laugh at them because their all the same”

Because you see in this world view, everyone’s a f**king prick who laughs at other people.

h/t

Nate Armbruster

Nate Armbruster is a stand-up comedian and writer based in Chicago who is likely writing a joke as you read this. Find him online at natecomedy.com.