I will admit to scratching my head a little bit when I saw this question from u/vizex9 over on Reddit:
“What is the best reply to ‘I f–ked your mom’?”
How often are people saying this to you, Vizex9? Why are people saying this to you? When has anyone ever said this?
IDK, maybe it’s a dude thing? But if someone said something this unintelligibly idiotic to me, I think I’d just stare at them blankly. Like. Okay? Did you? I know that you did not, so why do I care—
Anyway. Here’s what some folks told us over on Reddit were some of the best responses.
1. A real zinger
Disappointing your OWN parents just wasn’t enough?
My dad died when I was a kid, so I’ve always just told people something along the lines of “nice, I’ve been looking for a father figure”
3. Pretty lonely
“Oh wow, you’re hooking up with my mom? She’s been pretty lonely since dad died, and with the eczema I was worried she’d have trouble finding someone. I’m glad you’re a great guy that can see her for her.”
4. Mom’s Dead
I dont think necrophilia is something to brag about
Eye for an eye, I guess.
6. Still dead
Good, shes been lonely since we buried her.
Yeah, and she’s still pissed you got shit on her strap-on.
Cool story dad
at least I’m not her biggest disappointment anymore
10. I’ve seen it
Well I’m not fucking your mum – I’ve seen how her kids turn out
Now I know what she meant when she said” I’m doing some charity work tonight.”
“It’s pretty impressive that you put in the effort to dig her up first”
Son was playing GTA online and someone used the “I banged your mom” line on him. I was standing by and heard it, so I asked my son to give me the microphone.
“This is his mom, and it must not have been that good because I certainly don’t remember it.”
My son told me that the server erupted in howls and the dude just logged off.
14. Better you
Better you than someone with a dick.
15. So gross
If I wanted a comeback I would have wiped it off your mom’s face.