People will tell you that social media is all fake, but when it’s about their favorite influencer, they’re often in denial. For some reason, seeing pictures of someone’s “intimate life” can make you feel you’re their friend, you know them, and what kind of person they are.
Well, you don’t. The people who actually know them will tell you that, particularly in this thread started by u/superfuncity on r/AskReddit, who wrote, “IRL friends of social media ‘influencers’: what is it like?”
The answers are absolutely fascinating…and really depressing. The people who look so gorgeous and rich and happy are actually insecure, broke, and miserable. Plus, they’re phone-obsessed.
I mean, I am too, but at least I can consider it a hobby. Read the best answers below and maybe it will finally free you from any lingering Insta-obsessions.
1.
I dated one. Not super popular but followers in the 100k range last time we spoke. I remember a lot of getting ignored and only receiving nice gifts/acts of kindness when they could post about it.
Asking me to go to nice places (they didn’t drive) only to leave me on a bench somewhere while they took pictures.
Huge strain on the relationship, especially when they started to get bigger and there was more demand for content. —42charlemagne
2.
She hasn’t come to anything I’ve invited her to in 5 years because she only goes to events that “further her business.” Regularly says things like, “we’re all using each other for something.”
Sometimes she texts me the same exact thing word for word over a couple of days, and it’s obvious she just copy/pastes the same thing and sends it to all of us and then forgets who she has sent it to.
She still reaches out to me multiple times a year and claims I’m one of her best friends, but it sure doesn’t feel like it. I’ve told her as much, but she just says “this is my life now, my business comes first and if you can’t accept that, then I guess you’re not a real friend.” —Cirrus-Ramparts
3.
I worked with Youtube influencers in my last job with an agency that paired sponsors with these ‘celebrities. I basically did the grunt work like ensuring hotels/plane tickets, getting coffee, running errands, and meeting with the talent to ensure they were where they needed to be (e.g., events, conferences, trade shows, parties or whatever).
The nicest Youtubers were the animators – always calm and understanding.
The worst were the family vloggers – I’ve met all the big ones & I never met one that wasn’t a completely different person off-camera. The kids are always spoiled and no one disciplines them so they’re running around breaking things or acting like idiots, and no one can yell at them lest their influencer parents find out.
Close second is makeup Youtubers. —JohnnySilverhands
4.
im from a small town and a family vlogger moved here a few years ago. a while back we there was a bad wildfire about 20-30 miles away from us.
This fire was particularly bad (people were dying, losing homes, etc) but luckily it was pretty far from us and we weren’t in any danger. you could smell the smoke but that was it.
however, this family posted a total clickbait “wE hAd to EvAcUaTe, tHeY tOld us to LeAvE, WiLDfiRE VlOg.” this really pissed off everyone who lived here, since they were exploiting and profiting off a lie when people are actually losing everything.
They were called out on all their platforms but would delete those comments —imbabyofficial
5.
To be honest it’s really sh—t. I feel like I’ve been completely forgotten about and like I don’t matter anymore. I think that’s just some weird misguided jealousy but it still hurts because I miss talking to my friend —EmeraldSunrise4000
6.
Awful. One of my best friends fell real hard into Instagram, and for a few years, it was tolerable and understandable, albeit annoying and strange. Everything needed to be documented in specific ways, so lots & lots of photos, even if it took away from the moment.
But the strange part was how, when she’d share things, the captions always told a slightly different story than what actually happened. Like just off enough for me and my other friends to say, huh, that has a weird quality to it.
Fast forward a couple of years, and she gets engaged. Boom. This was the catalyst for the worst of the influencer mentality to come out. I was at the bridal party, and it was a nightmare. No gratitude, just demands.
Demands for expensive trips and expensive parties and all kinds of things that were above and beyond the means of her closest friends. And all the demands were because she had a “following” and had certain expectations to meet.
It was really heart-wrenching to witness someone belittle their best friend and maid of honor for trying to plan a sweet bridal shower because it wasn’t going to be at an expensive restaurant or art gallery.
It reached its peak for me when, after the in-state wedding became an expensive destination wedding, there was the demand for an out-of-town bachelorette party a few weeks before. I was honest and said I couldn’t afford the bachelorette (mind you, I made about a thousand sacrifices over those months to afford what I could), and was promptly bridezilla’d and told I ruined the whole experience and that I was an awful, fake, inauthentic person.
It got so bad that the bridal party fractured and disintegrated, she lost two of her best friends (myself and the MOH didn’t even attend the wedding after all her behavior and blow-ups), and we’ve barely spoken since.
All so she could have an instagrammable wedding that would look good for the few photos she ended up sharing of it. And, true to the weird strange re-written reality ways she had, she published a public “apology” on her blog for her followers and family that completely distorted and rewrote what happened, painted herself as the victim, and got her the sympathy points she was looking for.
Ppl really lose themselves when they create an artifice for social media. I learned a lot from her. —whenthesunrise
7.
Pretty mundane, honestly. My friend is conventionally attractive, and if you look at her social media, you’d think she was a supermodel millionaire who goes on tons of trips.
She’s actually chronically unemployed, and has an income of less than 10k/yr. Her boyfriend makes about $60k/yr which is enough to afford them a very nice 3 1/2 bedroom apartment, and she has tons of props she uses to make each room look different from day to day so it seems like she’s always in a new, exotic place.
They take two trips a year to fun, tropical places, in which she takes many photos, and posts them as different places throughout the year.
She’s a very kind, considerate, sparkling personality, but whenever we hang out, I tend to be a shoulder to cry on as she laments about her lack of success in life. It’s quite sad, honestly. But with her creativity and personality, I think she’ll achieve her dreams eventually. —LemonFly4012
8.
Friends with a high profile athlete who is pretty popular on insta…. he is always on the phone… never lives in the moment. If we are doing anything fun? well, it basically didn’t happen unless the world knows about it. Its just annoying …I cant imagine living for the approval or satisfaction of others. —Neither-Act1355
9.
I was with a guy at Coachella, he has a pretty good following on IG. He posted something while we were watching a concert and could not look away from his phone. I asked him when he’d eventually put his phone away and he said he would when he got over 1,000 likes.
I couldn’t believe it. —legagneur
10.
It’s annoying AF. One of my buddies is constantly filming everything we do and posting it. It’s to the point where people walk up to me on the street and ask me about him because they’ve seen me in his posts…i have no idea who they are.
It dominates everything he does, and has severely impacted his personal relationships. He can’t keep a GF and it’s clearly related to this obsession of his. He does occasionally get some cool stuff out of it though.
After pretty much kicking him out of my life because I do not want to be continually posted online, we’ve come to the understanding that when he’s about to take a pic or video, he hands me the phone so i’m not in the shot. Works OK for me. —S_204