Kate Hackett
When I see “life hacks” I usually give a little eye roll because… are they? Are they really hacks? For life?
The term has been kind of diluted with dopey suggestions to do things like “pay your bills on time!” (really!?) and “oven mitts make great tissue cozies” or whatever, but even I will admit that this list has some doozies.
Redditor u/Ok-Fee6613 recently asked Reddit “Guys of Reddit. What are your best NSFW life hacks?”
And while I’m definitely not a guy, I was chuckling along this list. Here are some of the best answers to the now-viral thread.
1. Soap
Soap is not lube. Soap is never a lube.
2. Timing
Have sex BEFORE dinner.
3. No thermometer necessary!
If you’re feeling cold, but your balls are hanging down like on a hot day, you’re having a fever.
4. Prop her
Put a pillow under her butt in missionary.
5. Order matters
Always poop before showering.
6. Partnership
You’re more likely to keep a partner with your mouth than with your genitals. However you choose to interpret this, you are correct.
7. Underwear
Invest in high quality underwear, your balls will thank you.
8. Protect yourself
Best NSFW advice I ever got: lay a paper toilet seat protector on top of the water when you take a shit in a public restroom. It breaks the water tension, so you won’t get “Poseidon’s Kiss”. I’m pretty sure I got this advice from Reddit a few years ago, and it was life changing
9. Foreplay
Don’t sleep on the foreplay & hand dexterity.
10. Date
Just because you are married doesn’t mean you should stop dating your partner.
11. Sex Toys
Sex toys are not competition, they are tools.
12. Just use it
If you’re getting hot and heavy, and you reach for a condom, and she says, “But you don’t need to…”
You, without a doubt, 100%, need to
13. Safety
Late to the party here but an honest life hack about safety. If you think to yourself, “Should I wear safety equipment for this?” It means you should wear safety equipment.
14. Poop at work
Poop at work. 10 minutes a day equals out to be about 43 hours a year of paid time off. “The boss makes a buck, I make a dime, that’s why I poop on company time”
15. Wash it
Warm water will make it sticky. Wash it with cold water. SERIOUSLY.
16. Learn your woman
Some women like inner stimulation, some like outer. Some cum from everything, some cum from nothing. There is no 1 guaranteed way to give em a ‘gasm
17. Shaving
Shave your crotch while you have an erection. It pulls the skin tighter and you’re less likely to cut yourself
18. Hang tight…
If you are in any situation where a bathroom is not near and you have to shit, try to get a boner. The body shuts down bathroom urges if it thinks you are about to have sex. I was a truck driver for 5 years and used this trick many times.
19. SLOW DOWN
Slow the fuck down. Not just in the bedroom. Not just when you’re driving. But as a general life advice. Slow the fuck down. You don’t need to be married young. You don’t need to figure out your career in your 20s and you don’t need to own a house immediately. Relax. Life is happier when you put less pressure on yourself.
20. Everybody wins
View sex as a game where you’re trying to make the other side win. If you have a partner that is doing the same everybody wins.
