Kate Hackett
The world is reopening and travel is possible again, so as you prepare for your summer vacations abroad, make sure you take a look through this list first. After all, you wouldn’t want to offend anyone.
And give a big thank you to a Reddit user who asked:
“What should tourists NEVER do in your country?”
The thread is an old one, but never so apt — we’ve all been cooped up too long!
1. Norway
If you ask someone in Norway “how they are doing”, we will give an actual answer.
2. Mexico
Have their windows rolled down. In Tijuana especially. You’ll be guilted into buying so many fucking churros.
3. Massachusetts
New England: Don’t go see Plymouth Rock. It’s just a fucking rock. It doesn’t look special in any way, and it might even be the wrong one. It’s a regular rock in a state completely covered in rocks. You want rocks, we’ve got some fucking rocks for you, man.
4. More Norway
Go on a hike unarmed when visiting the Svalbard archipelago here in Norway. You are required to aways have a firearm with you to protect against polar bears when traveling outside the populated areas.
5. South Africa
Wearing khakis And hiking boots screams tourist. It makes you a target for criminals and that sweet camera you bought for your trip is going to find a new home. And besides, if your trip is going to involve hiking of any kind S&R would prefer you wore bright clothes so it makes your ass easier to find if you get lost.
If you are going on a game drive (no one here calls it a safari) keep your doors locked and windows rolled up. Otherwise, enjoy being Simbas lunch. Respect the wildlife, they are wild animals and have no qualms about killing you.
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6. Malaysia
Bring or smuggling drugs. Shit can get you hanged to death in Malaysia.
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7. Australia
Don’t just walk up to a kangaroo and pat it in the wild. Those fuckers will kick the shit out of you. I’m looking at you Japanese
8. New Zealand
I know we are known for our sheep in New Zealand, but I wouldn’t recommend trying to start a relationship with one.
9. Germany
Don’t be stupid. Don’t do the Hitler Salute, don’t say Sieg Heil.
10. Singapore
Don’t ever go to Sim Lim Square OR Lucky Plaza to buy electronics, no matter how good the prices seem! You will get screwed!
11. Britain
Don’t speak like you grew up in the East End. We know you didn’t.
12. Costa Rica
-Drive. You just don’t want to. People here drive like idiots. If you come from any semi decent place, driving is gonna be an unpredictable nightmare.
-Tip. Unless you’re on a fancy hotel which caters to foreigners, it’s just not on the culture. Unlike Japan, where people get offended or whatever, people don’t have a concept of tipping. You’re just gonna confuse your waiter.
-Say you don’t like soccer. I don’t, but saying it is a mistake.
13. Australia
Don’t show up and assume that because you know how to swim you can swim in the ocean, even if other people are doing it. Even if you can swim, the ocean can and will still fuck you up. Learn to spot a rip, read any signs in the area, and if there are lifeguards listen to what they are saying and swim between the flags. If you’re between the flags you’ll pretty much be safe as you can be; if you are on a patrolled beach and get into trouble the lifeguards are there to help you out. If you decide to swim out at an unpatrolled beach and something bad happens, you’re on your own, so just be careful.
14. Jamaica
Take a public taxi. Unless you wanna know what NFS Most Wanted feels like irl
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15. Ireland
Don’t ask for an Irish Car Bomb or a Black and Tan either. Some bar staff will find this grossly offensive.
Edit: For those asking why a Black and Tan is offensive, the Black and Tans were a British unit during the Irish War of Independence who often conducted reprisal attacks against random civilians, occasionally burning entire towns. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_and_Tans
As said below, if you want a Black and Tan ask for a Half and Half. It’s the same drink.
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16. Sweden
Sit next to a local on the bus.
17. London
Do not make eye contact on the tube. Try not to talk, if possible. Sit/stand still, look miserable, and contemplate the futility of existance.
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18. Canada
Complain about the price of booze. I know it’s too f-cking high and it sucks for me too.
