Except for those among us who lead utterly charmed lives, all women who have dated dudes have at some point seen at least some of them totally lose his s—t over something utterly minor. For most of us . . . it’s been a lot more than one incident with one boyfriend. So, when Redditor u/TheVarnAttack posed the question
“Women, what is the most eyeroll-worthy thing a man has made a huge deal about before?”
There was no shortage of cringe-inducing, hilarious but also just plain awful stories. If you want a nickel’s worth of free advice, reader, we suggest listening to “Cell Block Tango” from Chicago while you peruse this list.
1. Me getting a haircut
“I got a haircut. He was upset that I hadn’t discussed it with him first. We were not in a relationship. We were not friends. He was an acquaintance that I occasionally ran into and he was livid that I had cut off my long, blonde hair without his input/permission.”
2. Hot lesbians who are (wait for it) not interested in him
“How hot they think my wife and I are. Go away and die elsewhere, we are busy being gay :[“
3. Using the shoulder straps on a reusable grocery bag
“Boyfriend was carrying the grocery bag by the handles (don’t know the right word)—the bag was heavy, the handles very long and everything about it looked very uncomfortable and painful.
I asked him, why he doesn’t put the bag on his shoulder and he replied……’Woman carry handbags over there shoulders…..do I look like I’m gay?!’
Thought he was kidding. He wasn’t.”
4. Menstruation (sigh)
“Me having a period. He thought I was cheating because I was on my period. This man thought that periods only come after sex and no sex = no period. So since we didn’t have sex and I’m on my period it means I had sex with somebody else.”
5. Me literally just being smarter than he is
“My ex was mad at me for getting a better gpa than him in college and then told me that if he stayed with me that I would prevent him from getting into medical school.
We broke up and it turned out that a year later he couldn’t get into medical school because he wasn’t qualified. I had nothing to do with it.”
6. Taking my hair out of a ponytail after work
“I worked at a pub with my then-bf. At the end of the night we all sat around having a drink, as per usual. At one point I took my hair out of my ponytail to shake it out because it had been up all day and was starting to give me a headache.
When we got home he accused me of taking my hair down to seduce one of our colleagues who was drinking with us and he proceeded to lose his shit about it. It was just so random and bizarre.
Yes, he was an abusive asshole and no, it didn’t last long.”
7. Me having calves
“My ex was legitimately mad my calves were bigger than his to the point where I flexed on him in the shower as a joke and he got out…”
8. Vegetarianism
“My ex hated how I decided to get into vegetarianism. He was a big meat eater, super into food and cooking, and would always go into dramatics about how it was hard to go out to eat with me. I live in a very veggie friendly city, and restaurants have salads!
It’s fine—I can cook some awesome veg dishes on my own now and don’t need him policing my diet. 😉”
9. Playing an online game
“We were playing EverQuest (an online role playing game). He’d been playing for YEARS and I was just learning. He didn’t think I was playing my character ‘right’ and flipped out. He said, ‘It’s going to get around the server and forums that you don’t know how to play your class!!!’ And I was like ‘oh no…. Anyway…'”
10. “Other girls”
“[I’ve been enthusiastically praised for] not being ‘like other girls.’ It really weirded me out—what’s so bad about other girls? haha.”
11. Making oatmeal
“My ex would lose his mind because he didn’t believe I made instant oatmeal correctly for our son. He would rip me apart for it.
Me: 190° Keurig water, eyeball the measurement like I did since I was 8, let it sit while I poured a cup of coffee, serve.
Him: get a saucepan, boil the water, use a measuring cup, let sit exactly per instructions using a timer, serve.
That was just one of the things I didn’t do properly…I couldn’t make the bed, cut a pb&j sandwich, change his diaper, bathe him, dress him… Funny thing, I was the one who did it all for 3 months before I had to go back to work. Then he became a SAHD because I made significantly more money. The first month he called everyday with questions on how to do something. Then he became super-dad know-it-all and degraded everything I did.
Ultimately, after 3 years of that, I ended the relationship one morning when I was, once again, ripped apart for making oatmeal incorrectly.”
12. My skin color
“My ex made a big deal about me having a relatively darker complexion compared to other women in my country and that I should try to improve my skin complexion through lightening products.”
13. Me being taller than he is
“I’m a quite tall woman (178cm, so not even giant) and I’ve never had a problem dating guys less tall than me despite that whole thing with women only dating taller guys.
Yet I’ve been told by multiple (now ex) boyfriends that me being tall intimidates them, not to wear shoes with high heels (one ex concidered regular Doc Martens ‘high heels’) and even been told by more than one guy to step down from the sidewalk while walking together to make them appear taller than me…
So now I actually only do date taller guys. Because I’m tired of the bullshit. I might miss out on some great guys, but to this day I have never actually met a less tall guy that did not care I was taller, even tho I did not care I was taller.”
14. Hearing the word “no”
“Being told “no”, to:
Can I talk to you?
Can I have your number?
Do you have time to help me find my keys?
Will you hook me up with your friend Theresa?
15. Not responding to his texts fast enough
“A dude I was vaguely dating was pissed that I didn’t return his texts quickly enough so he messaged on the Xbox messaging thing-y and said ‘Do not push me to tell you that it’s not working.’ I simply responded with, ‘I do not need you to tell me that it’s not working: It’s not working. Bye.’
16. Getting sick
“When they do get sick they act like helpless babies that can’t take care of themselves and whine and cry because it hurts so much even if they have a fever of only 99.6°F”
17. My skincare regimen
“I was on a first date and he was a doctor. He proceeded to tell me on the date how he could tell by looking at my skin that I had eczema and how as a doctor, it’s hard to have patients that don’t listen to advice that would make things better.”
18. Practicing safe(r) sex
“Wearing a condom. He threw a fit, like a child, then accused me of sleeping around. Big nope.”
19. Washing a dish
“Went camping with an ex once and we took only one cooking pot with us and no dishwashing liquid, so I had to let the pot soak overnight. He woke me up at one in the morning because he got hungry and didn’t want to wash it himself, because ‘doing the dishes was embarrassing for men’ and apparently no man in his family ever did them. Started thinking about the best way to break up right there and then, lol”
20. Someone else driving a car that doesn’t belong to him.
“Had an ex punch a hole in my wall because I allowed MY brother to drive MY truck for the evening.”
And now you know, (hetero and bi) ladies (and men and gnc people who dig men): if you ever see a guy pull anything like the stuff listed above, throw something heavy and sharp at his face and then run like hell.