Kate Hackett
I think it’s safe to say that we all have stories we just… carefully tuck away from our parents. You know, if we had any sense of rebellion whatsoever. Oh, don’t get me wrong: I bet you your parents KNOW about that party you snuck out to, but we still never share it.
Redditor u/milfsage recently wondered on the AskMen subreddit:
“What is a secret that you hid from your parents?”
And the gents over in that forum replied with some awesome tales. Check them out.
1. Bills
My mom is not so good with finances and the internet. I have been paying a significant portion of her bills for the past decade and she has no idea.
2. Fake lotto
My family used a fake lotto ticket to help pay my father’s hip replacement, my daughter gave it to him for xmas and my sister said she would go and cash it ..he wouldn’t have done it if we just gave him the money
3. Tattoos
I got a tattoo on my shoulder blade. Kept it hidden for years after a shower etc. Found out years down the line my brother told them a week after I had the tattoo!
4. Report card
The really great report card I brought home once was actually a fabrication I made on the home computer while they were sleeping. Mom was so proud, I never told her.
5. Candle
My sister once pointed a Roman candle to my head. Had a severe burn and hair loss. I combed it over and agreed never to tell. I was 10 and she was 16 btw
6. Never graduated
I didn’t graduate college when they thought I did & instead used an elective course I took after my brain injury as my last required course for graduation.
7. Drove
I used to drive the family car when they were away at work. Like everytime. Just drive around the neighbourhood. I was 15.
8. It was a firecracker
In high school, the melted floor mats in my mom’s new car were because I sprayed febreeze on dog crap that a friend’s shoe brought in and it “reacted like that”.
In truth, it was a firecracker that someone tried to chuck out the window and it bounced off the glass and landed inside the car. They forgot the child safety windows didn’t go all the way down.
9. Bro move
My mom used to take the power cord to my Xbox when I was grounded. My buddy’s Xbox stopped working so he gave me his power cord and I would hop on when they weren’t home or late at night.
10. Lifesaving
When I was a junior in high school, my mom and I got into a low speed accident with minor damage to both vehicles. Later that month I was so exhausted from school that I decided to ditch. I drove on the backroads for 10 minutes send parked, and then slept.
My mom found out and was furious at me. I lied and said that it was because I wasn’t feeling good and I had headaches and some bs like that. She took me to the doctor and they found that my C3 vertebrae was fractured on top of having a tumor growing on it. I ended up having a gnarly 10 hour spinal surgery that honestly completely changed the course of my life.
And we only found out about it because I couldn’t think of any other bullshit excuse to use
11. Password stealing
My mom raised me in a pretty aggressive christian household. When we finally got tv, I discovered HBO had like a 5 minute preview of movies/shows whatever. Then I saw the late night shit. Well our tv was locked down with a passcode. I had to be like 11 or 12 but I put a vhs in then hit record. I then told my mom that I wanted to watch a animal documentary but it was locked tv14 for the animal violence. Well, she had me turn around while she scrolled the password in. After she left for work, I rewinded the vhs and got the password. Sorry Mom!
12. Driving
I drifted the minivan
13. Blamed the repair guy
That photo of Cindy Crawford wasn’t downloaded by the computer repair men.
14. Secrets
That they are terrible at hiding things or making passwords. Anytime I was in trouble and used a password to lock the tv or computer they always used a significant date so it was just process of elimination.
I also found almost all of the Christmas presents every year because they would just put them in the garage under a giant blanket. Like all of a sudden in mid-December a mountain of stuff covered by a blanket would appear in the garage, don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure that one out.
15. Twas I!
It was me that crashed their new computer with viruses… because puberty
16. I knew
I knew the internet password.
17. Still talk
I still talk to the girl they forbade me from speaking to when I was 14
18. Before she told
I knew about her cancer for 6 months before she told me.
19. Lunch
That I qualified for free school lunches. Instead of using the $5 they gave me everyday on school lunch I would save it for alcohol/weed. Honestly back then I thought I was a genius but now I look back and want to punch my former self in the face for it.
20. Sneak out.. a dangerous sneak out.
I used to sneak out the house on school nights to see movie midnight premieres while in high school. I went to the Dark Knight Rises midnight premier, and I usually went to century sixteen in Aurora since it’s the closest, but last minute change of plans led me to a different movie theatre. I stopped sneaking out after that night.
