Kate Hackett
God, so many things come to mind when I think about things I was told as a child that didn’t actually happen. Alas, I am a woman and not the subject of this AskMen Reddit query from u/Aggressive_Bath_5570. They wondered, “What’s something you were told as a kid that proved to be untrue as you aged?” and we rounded up the best responses from men across the world.
1. Your eyes
If you cross your eyes they’ll get stuck like that…. Still get nervous crossing my eyes as an adult lol
2. Myths
They said I’d never catch the tooth fairy.
3. LOLOLOLOL
“You won’t have a calculator with you at all times”.
4. Absurd
If you swallow watermelon Seeds they would grow in your belly. Also gum will stay in your belly for 7yrs
5. Aww!
“You’ll get all the attention from the ladies” Not quite grandma, but thanks I love you too
6. Ouch.
“Looks don’t matter.” The f-ck they don’t.
7. This seemed more for girls
“Ignore them and they’ll go away.” This is not how bullies and assholes work. These people are looking for a soft target to assert dominance. They aren’t looking to get a rise out of you, they’re looking to control/dominate you. If you ignore their efforts you let them know you’re a soft target and they’ll come back for more and more every chance they get.
8. They have no idea.
Adults know what’s going on and are properly managing situations.
9. This awful advice
“Do what you love (for a job) and you’ll never work a day in your life.”
10. Bedtime
Mom: It’s literally deadly for a child to stay up past 11pm.
11. Never happened
Kind strangers would offer me free drugs.
12. Quicksand
That quicksand was going to be a major issue
13. Fire!
when I was a kid, I thought we’d be stopping, dropping, and rolling a lot more often than we were led to believe.
14. They were not
That high school years would be the best years of your life. Might be true for 10% of the population.
15. Dad knew nothing
My dad wasn’t all knowing. In fact, he confessed that probably half the shit he told me he made up just to get me to stop asking questions.
16. Cops!
That I could get us in trouble with the police for having a dome light on while driving at night.
17. Soda
My soccer coach told 12 year old me that soda would stunt my growth. I still don’t drink soda at age 30.
18. They were wrong
“cracking your knuckles will cause arthritis” like fuck it will
19. School
Your employer will care that you repeated a school year.
20. Alas.
Work hard and you will move up the corporate ladder.
