Kate Hackett
One of my dating / relationship pet peeves is having to teach grown-ass men how to live. There is NO REASON some of the men in this list needed a woman to teach them where to throw away mop water, and yet. Here we are!
Women do so much of the emotional labor in a relationship, so while I’m kind of glad to see that men learned stuff, it enrages me that they had to be taught in the first place. These are some of the best answers to a question on AskMen that wondered what things men learned from living with a woman.
1. Towel jobs
Can’t just use towels for generic tasks, specific towels have specific purposes. Failure to comply is sacrilege and punishable by immediate scolding.
2. Mop water
The bucket of water after mopping shouldn’t go in the sink, it should go in the toilet.
3. Gently!
When I get into bed, I lie down too hard, causing the bed to shake violently. I have since learned to lie down more gently.
4. Consideration
I didn’t actually know how to communicate my feelings. Also, I learned how to give gifts that are meaningful.
5. Again, hygiene
Pretty much how to take care of my hair and skin better.
For example I put coconut oil in my hair before I go swimming. I learned this from a girlfriend I had in Hawaii.
Apparently it helps seal moisture in as well as protect your hair from damage. Whatever it does, my hair gets softer, smoother and bigger after it dries. I swear it never looked so fabulous in my life.
6. This seems superfluous but sure
Not drying off in the shower before stepping on the bath mat, therefore minimizing how wet the bath mat gets.
7. Skin care
Skin. Care. My friends all laugh at me for derma rolling, beard oiling, clay mask in the shower, special serums for my under eyes, lotions & creams etc… smooth, soft skin, & (soon) softer beard.
I don’t flake, I don’t itch, & I look youthful. Meanwhile my friends are endlessly picking at their faces and complaining about beard itch. Skin care, lads
8. You do.
That my bed can’t have just the one pillow. Apparently I need a million of them.
9. Awww.
How to be vulnerable as well.
10. Just bathing
Apparently shampoo goes on the scalp and conditioner goes on the loose hair, not the other way around!
11. Storage and cleanliness
Joking aside I’ve learnt a lot of good stuff, like caring for various things. For example how to properly store fruits and vegetables so that they don’t go bad, how to take care of textiles/clothes so that they can be used for longer etc.
Also that I didn’t eat nearly enough fiber before. Loads of things. People say that their girlfriends nag a lot but honestly there’s a lot of good stuff to be learnt if you just listen.
12. Apparently hygiene?
How good it feels to keep my home organized and clean. After living with my now ex-wife for six years, I can’t help but do deep cleans for my mental health.
I really appreciate a solid vacuum cleaner, I feel better keeping wires off the floor, I’m proud of my undersink collection of cleaners and spare sponges (change out your dishwashing sponges 🧽 regularly!)
I loaded up on 30+ microfiber cloths from Home Depot so I’m never without a way to clean up dust/messes, and I Konmari the shit out of my belongings on a regular basis for great relief. 😮💨
13. Treat yo Self!
Bed Sheets. I used to cheap out, but pampering yourself in nice bed sheets makes it feel like you’re staying at a fancy hotel every night.
14. So many simple things, but okay: I can’t fold a fitted sheet either
1. loading the dishwasher 2. folding towels (this just feels like someone’s strong personal preference tbh) 3. folding fitted sheets (yeah, totally thought this was bullshit until someone SHOWED me it was possible, damnedest thing)
15. You didn’t season meat?!
Seasoning meat. And damn was she right, it needs some spices on it.
16. DO THE CHORES FIRST
ALWAYS HELP WITHOUT ASKING. It’ll save your entire relationship/sex life/cuddle life etc. If you say “Do you need help?”(chores etc) she’ll say “No I got it” and it’s logged as the first resentment cut of a thousand. Don’t ask because you think it’s polite, just do it. There, saved you a divorce.
17. Decor!
Decorating and convenience items. Before I started dating my place was a fairly bare bones setup. Had rooms set up for function over comfort and now the rooms just feel more welcoming and inviting. Pillows everywhere of all different textures. Art and random colorful thing hung on the wall.
Because of her I’ve found love for a good bathrobe. It’s kind of impressive how much a woman’s touch changes things.
18. How do you not… fold… oh my
Folding towels. I’ve lived with 3 women and they all insist that hot dog style with a tri-fold is the correct way. Apparently my hamburger style is for Neanderthals.
19. So many things, this dude
How to laundry, cook, wash dishes, clean the room, save bills… anything I’m now doing for living is taught by women who lived with me
20. Trash
Having a trash can in the bathroom
