A lot of the time, people come to Reddit seeking advice on how to do something better or be better or be more successful with dating. Truly, getting advice can be helpful, but also? Sometimes you need to listen to yourself and trust that common sense is going to work in your favor. So let’s have fun. Folks on Reddit got into the spirit of mocking the “stuff you can do to be hotter/cooler/better with the ladies” kinds of posts the site is known for — and it’s definitely not boring. And who knows? Maybe it will help you, dude, be more seductive.
1. Don’t Speak
“I’ve been told I’m more attractive when I don’t speak.” —
2. Cheese
“You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.” —
3. A Lot
“Ok so men this is the whole thread distilled into one paragraph; Walk past your desired lady and drop your Magnum condom. Pick it up really slowly, letting her see that manass. Then turn to her while rolling up your long sleeved shirt to just below the elbow. Pick out the hammer from your tool belt and hammer in a nail [prepared in advanced]. Talk about how much you enjoyed the latest One Piece episode, go into detail to prove you are passionate about the subject. Then let her know you are too busy to do anything tonight because work is calling you in again, as you are the only one who can fix the problem. Now wait for her to give you her number. If you get the number or not just keep silent and walk away.” —
4. Ride That Horse
“Grow your hair, show up to your date shirtless on a horse with a rose in your mouth.”
5. Bend And Snap
“Drop something and then bend down to pick it up slowly.” —
6. Handbrake Turns
“According to top gear, handbrake turns.” —
7. Drive In Reverse
“Drive in reverse while the person you’re seducing sits in the passenger seat.” —
8. Roll Up Those Sleeves
“If you don’t mind looking a little slutty, put on a dress shirt and roll up the sleeves.” —
9. Throw A Towel On Your Shoulder
“Roll up your sleeves. Then cook a good meal while leaning on the wall every now and then. Talk passionately about something you care about and take an interest in your girl. Then when she’s well fed, offer to do the dishes and throw a tea towel on your shoulder when done.” —
10. Ramen And Mordor
“Do you like putting Kraft cheese on your ramen noodles, who am I kidding, everyone does, (leans on wall). So anyways there is a really good reason why the eagles couldn’t just fly the hobbits in to Mordor in the first place.” —
11. Mongolian Throat Singing
“Mongolian throat singing or a $100 gas gift card.” —
12. Do The Dishes
“As a married man of 27 years….the answer is ‘the dishes.'”
13. Know Her RPG Interests
“Well, you first have to know the person’s interests. Say she is oh, I don’t know, a warbeast warlord with a lust for melee warfare and destroying the empire that forced her and her animal-like brethren into the woods? Well, now you know her priorities (destroying empire), and perhaps even some of her hobbies (swordcraft and open combat). The best thing you could do to make a great impression is forge her a sword (or axe, some might swing that way) fluxed by the charred ashes of her previous jailers. This is sure to work. She will appreciate the thought.” —
14. Dragon Suit
“Also put on my dragon suit with the nipples cut out and seductively dance around the produce department at my local grocery store while playing the saxophone with a full erection.” —
15. One Finger
“Just put your one finger on your lip.” —
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