Big weddings have become “the norm” as the wedding industry shoves saccharine images and “requirements” down brides’ throats. So maybe doing a small wedding is the way to get around the absolute insanity the wedding industry thinks we should subscribe to? Or maybe not. u/the_original_Retro asked:
“People who got married without having a big wedding: when you look back, was it the better choice? Do either of you regret not doing something bigger for the day?”
And people came back with regrets.
(Spoiler: no they did not)
1. Couldn’t be happier
We paid about 2 grand total for our wedding, we married in a tiny little registry office which was nice and clean and the lady who married us was lovely, it wasn’t a big venue but it was big enough for our close family and friends. We rented the suits and that was the most expensive item, we got the bridesmaids dresses online for cheap, they all looked really nice and my wife looked lovely, her dress was second hand from eBay.
We found a bus museum and hired an old London bus for an hour to drive the people from the wedding to the party. We didn’t have a reception and a sit down meal, instead we booked a local club that had a nice big room, we got a family friend to do a buffet for all the guests.
It was a really great day, the wedding was nice, my wife was happy, lots of our friends and family attended, there was plenty of food and the drinks were cheap at the bar in the club we picked, I couldn’t have been happier with how it turned out.
2. Disgusting industry
Absolutely no regrets. You always have the option to do the party/celebration for your anniversary/vows renewal etc down the line. We never felt the need though. Spend your money on something else forget the pomp of a big wedding. It’s a disgusting industry in my opinion. My pair of pennies anyway.
3. Naw
Put your money into the marriage, not the day. You won’t regret it.
4. Small now
This question really interests me because me and my fiancĂ© are getting married next February and we’ve actually gone from “big party” to “small gathering of intimate people” since we first started planning it. Mostly because neither of us is exactly “social”. He’s an introvert and the idea of a big party with people who we rarely see slowly became nauseating to us. I mean.. The wedding is supposed to be a celebration of love with the people who actually know and cherish the couple. Not a “show off” event. I come from a deeply traditional family with big weddings and this has been a topic of “discussion” lately. So knowing how you guys feel after is actually helping. Thank you! 🙂 Edited to correct spelling.
5. A ball
Me and the wife eloped to Gretna, just the two of us on a two day stay, came home and arranged the party two weeks later. Unfortunately it was the day before the first lockdown and only 45 folk turned up, we had a ball.
6. No regrets at all
Wife and I got married on the beach at sunset with about 20 people there. No regrets at all. Pictures are beautiful.
7. Eloped
I eloped abroad with only two witnesses (one who married us and his girlfriend) we had a fantastic time walking around a new city, exchanged vows in the park and were already at our honeymoon destination.
Had a fantastic week, saved a ton, had a reception thrown by parents. No stress, no overwhelming attention, just a sharing of vows by two people which we felt was what was necessary. Hit ten years a week ago.
8. Zero regrets
We got married in our favorite park by a JoP. Didn’t send out invites just told everyone the date and time and told them to show up if they could. Did like aFB announcement too.
We were super shocked with the big turn out and it was people we never expected to show. It was an amazing experience as the guest list was a surprise.
After we got married we went to the bar we first met at and more people showed up. It was a crazy fun night we still talk about.
9. Happiest week
My husband and I eloped in Scotland and then spent a week in the highlands for our honeymoon. It was probably the happiest week of my life. Our only witnesses were our photographer and her partner.
10. Fun
My husband and I eloped on the beach with my then 2 young sons and 2 hired witnesses. We then spent the week at theme parks.
Would do it again in a heartbeat. No question.
11. No drama
Had ours at a BnB. Parents, Siblings, and grandparents…so like 10 total people. We had a 2 week honeymoon in Clearwater, good down payment on a home, and got 2 kittens immediately after.
No drama, no debt
12. Introverts
Seven years ago me and my husband married in my villages church and we had a small reception for our 15 guests at my parents beach house. We are introverts and even this much attention was a bit much. Honestly we where not intrested in the wedding we where more focused on being married.
13. Loved it
We got married 6 years ago. We had a smallish outdoor wedding. It was absolutely the better choice, and my husband and I will always feel this way. The only thing we regret is inviting the judgemental family members who made snide comments about the secular and non-traditional nature of our wedding.
14. None!
Eloped, not a single regret
15. Refunded money
We had to change our plans due to the pandemic. We were faced with either to having to postpone again or go ahead with a small ceremony. We went from 70day guests and an extra 30 evening guests to a 27 wedding ceremony with no evening party allowed.
I loved my wedding day, it was sad that some family members and friends couldn’t be with us (we did live stream it for others) and I missed a bit of a dance but overall it doesn’t really matter. My husband much preferred the way we did it.
Plus with the money we were refunded we managed to do a lot of home improvements!
16. Best day
My husband and I spent a few days trying to plan a large wedding when we both said “forget this, lets just go to the Justice Of The Peace”. It was just us with our mothers as wittiness.
We have been happily married for 7 years and we have never once regretted our choice.
https://www.reddit.com/user/KittyTheShark/
17. Perfect
We got married at home by a JoP with just our kids and a couple we were friends with as witnesses. Took about 5 minutes. It was perfect.
18. No stress
I have no regrets. My original dress would have cost more than what we ended up spending on everything for the entire day when we eloped. Our parents were with us and it wasn’t stressful. We had a party a month later that also wasn’t stressful. What everything was adding up to when we were planning a big to do wouldn’t have been worth it for one day of memories with us just starting out. We were married at a Scottish inn we try to get back to on our anniversaries, we went hiking and zip lining that weekend and had massages the morning of our wedding. So flipping easy going.
19. No attention, thanks
the fewer attention I get on my wedding the better it will be
20. Huge Waste
I think big weddings are a huge waste of money. My husband and I decided to get married on Thursday and got married on Saturday. Just immediate family and a couple of close friends. Never regretted it. Been married 41 years.