Kate Hackett
And you should too.
Because when I tell you it’s HARD to date out there, I mean, you guys, it’s so hard. Red flags look yellow, what’s good can turn real ugly… So why not do yourself a favor and check out our curated list of the best answers from u/Equivalent_Signal545‘s question on Reddit, “What is the biggest NSFW green flag in a partner?”
1. It’s not personal
Understanding that it’s not personal or not a good time when it doesn’t end with an orgasm. Or when it takes longer to get there ‘than usual’
2. It’s okay, dudes.
Is mature about using lube. I’ve had guys get offended and accuse me of not being wet enough lol, sorry for not wanting to tear myself a new vagina!
3. LOVE this.
Getting pleasure from your pleasure.
4. Your comfort
Making sure you are comfortable with what is going on
5. The little touches
The cheeky touches throughout the day that build up for the night.
6. Laughing
being able to laugh during sex if something funny happens, then getting back to it.
7. BOY IS IT
A guy who doesn’t end all intimacy the second they have cum
It’s pretty jarring for women to go from the intimacy of sex to being treated like an unwelcome house guest in 30 seconds flat.
8. Communicate
They communicate what they want and ask how they can give you what you want.
9. Aww.
When we both came and immediately thereafter held me so tight until my breathing regulated and he kissed me on the forehead.
It was the first time with no sex discussion beforehand.
10. Accept the no
When they accept your ‘no’s’. You’d be surprised about how many people just ignore it, or push until you give in.
11. Consideration
My now-boyfriend and I were hooking up for, like, the 2nd time ever. Deep into the 3rd round that night, I was sore and achy, but trying to hide it because I still just couldn’t get enough of him. With one thrust he made I winced in pain, but I got myself together and put what I thought was a pretty convincing hungry sex kitten expression back on my face. Well, when I tell you that man stopped on a dime, pulled out, kissed me gently, and said “I only want it to be good for you or we’re done for the night; I don’t want to hurt you,” I melted. He put his clothes on and left the hotel just to get me some cranberry juice and some Tylenol. He snuggled me and kissed me until we fell asleep. The consideration and care was just god-tier. Paying attention to your partner’s body language and comfort is a huuuuge green flag.
12. Soft and slow
A soft and slow bite on the lip with a bit of pulling.
13. Eyes
Eye contact. Doesn’t sound very NSFW on the surface, but the eyes can be the sexiest part of a woman, and if she gives you the right look it can be the hottest thing in the world.
14. Keep it safe
Realizing a trauma derived kink might make you bust like a shotgun, but also knowing you don’t wanna live like that in real life and compartmentalizing it to the bedroom.
15. Another +1 for communication
When she says what she wants. Not dirty talk or anything like that. Real communication about turn ons and offs, what hits the spot perfectly, and also listens to her partners wants
Proper communication goes a long way
16. YES.
Not having to ask for oral
17. Self conscious
Last month I was on a date with my significant other. We are still somewhat early in our relationship so I was talking about something I was self conscious about and what I perceived as a red flag. Her exact words were thank you for telling me, it doesn’t change the way I feel about you. Man that made me feel really good in the inside. My emotional connection bar got filled fast a f there
18. Remembering
Remembering your post sex routines and helping facilitate them.
I knew a guy was good when we slept together again after years and he remembered exactly what I like afterwards.
19. That…
That glint in their eyes, that dirty laugh, and that ready wit.
20. Tell me
The first time I slept with my guy, the first thing he said to me when we got in bed was, “Tell me how to make you come.” It was ridiculously attractive that he not only cared about getting me off but that he understood he would need to learn my body and what felt good for me and he wasn’t afraid or too cocky to ask.
