Ruin My Week
Men of the internet are sharing things that they learned about women after making the first of the ultimate relationship commitments – moving in together. It’s pretty funny to think that any of these things come to a surprise to men. Like, what do guys think happens to the ungodly amounts of hair that sit upon ladies’ perfectly shampooed heads?
Reading men’s shocking revelations about really common female behavior is actually quite adorable. If you’re thinking of moving in with your lady, heed these warnings: The socks will be small and there will be hair… lots and lots of hair.
1. Her cold feet on you is a sign of affection
“They’re cold. Hands. Feet. Legs. Nose. Masters of torture.” –Marinerprocess
2. Good cosmetics are expensive
“The women I’ve lived with over my life are uniformly fantastic at getting rid of old expired food but will keep and use cosmetics that were purchased a decade ago. Drawers in the bathroom full of the stuff.” –JayTheBookFan
3. The essentials
“Lots of hair ties and small socks.” –Estromode
4. Just wait until Candle Day
“Candles. Candles as far as the eye can see.” –Phil__Spiderman”
5. This is the universal chick move
“They make little balls of shredded hair and stick them to the wall in the shower to put in the garbage later.” –sars445
6. His fault for having perfectly over-sized comfies
“Every hoody, t-shirt, every pair of basketball shorts and pair of sweatpants you own will vanish from your drawers. At the same time she suddenly gets a whole load of new pajamas that look mysteriously like said missing garments.” –theanswersisreally42
7. All bags should be perforated
“They open things like a pack of raccoons.” –Recoveringpig
8. Only the strands that escaped the shower wall
“You could weave a bath mat with the amount of their hair that ends up on the bathroom floor.” –tekease247
9. Bathrooms trash cans are essential
“They don’t just prefer, but critically need a bin in the bathroom.” –TJDG
10. Debilitating with consistency
“I didn’t know that period side effects could be debilitating.” –Slggyqo
11. You should be honored
“Where ever they come close, there are now hairs. Shower: Check My beard: Check. Couch: Check. My shirt/sweaters: Check. Around my dick: Somehow also Check.” –Doagbeidl
12. Once a month we are poop equals
“Period poops. I grew up with a sister, so I thought I knew everything about living with women, but in college I had a female roommate, and whenever her Aunt Flo came to visit, she would blow up the toilet so bad I couldn’t use it for a good 20-30 minutes.” –FoxxyCleopatra75
13. We get it, there’s a lot of hair!
“They shed about as much as a corgi.” –cyrano72
14. The ovulation hornies
“The Opposite of PMS -That when that egg drops, so do the panties.” –Lazarus_Steel
15. Survival skills
“I learned that if I’m ever stranded in a car in the desert, I’d want to be in a my now ex- wife’s or current girlfriend’s car, as I’ll be able to survive for days on half- full water bottle’s and snacks, have multiple clothing items to burn out stay warm with or have days of mail to read in the trunk.” –tecoyeah
16. If she doesn’t remember it, it didn’t happen
“They fart like a man in their sleep and deny it to the bitter end.” –LesterTheOne
17. 4x as much as the average man
“How much toilet paper they use.” –DragonTwelf
18. Secure the hair & the territory
“Using bobby pins to mark their territory.” – BustedSaint
19. A good shower should hurt
“Hot as hell shower. I mean hot that burns the skin out of my bones.” –Rapameister
20. There should be almost no room to sit
“They need 50 pillows on every couch and bed.” –KingSelfie2Strong
