Kate Hackett
While yours truly will really never understand the appeal of a bright city in the middle of a hot desert catering to making people feel like tourists, plenty of people do. And Vegas, for whatever reason, gives people the ultimate excuse to act up.
You know the slogan — what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas — but it’s definitely not always so. u/krzysztofgetthewings recently asked the men of Reddit for their stories of things that happened in Vegas but didn’t stay there and we have tales ranging from the absolutely disgusting to the more wholesome.
1. The work conference
I went to Vegas for a work conference a few years ago. It was me and a coworker, and his girlfriend of several years tagged along. He was going to propose on the trip and they had already been planning the wedding.
We were at one of the social events in the evening, and his girlfriend couldn’t join us; it was strictly for conference attendees. I gave my coworker my complimentary drink ticket since I don’t drink. He got two drinks pretty close together, and said they were strong. He doesn’t drink very often, so just those two drinks got him drunk enough to order a few more drinks, and he got hammered.
He ended up talking to a sales rep that was also attending the conference and they ended up going up to her hotel room and had sex. The only reason I know this is because the sales rep asked me for his phone number the next day, saying they had a wild night together last night and gave some additional details.
My coworker ends up not proposing to his girlfriend. It’s been about five years, and they are still together, but not married. I’m pretty sure she knows that something happened in Vegas but doesn’t know what.
2. Everyone got it
A friend came back with a drippy dick and gave his wife gonorrhea.
The funny thing was, she and another married friend were having an affair. All four got it. Both divorced.
3. Ruined lives
Lived in Vegas for years and worked on the strip. I saw so many men ruin their lives over a weekend with hookers and blow. “Come on vacation, leave on probation. “
4. Lost it all
My friend won a substantial amount of money playing mostly blackJack all weekend, and some other card games. He flew home, and the casino began to contact him, asking him to come back and offering free stays. First it was emails, then mail, then phone. Eventually they offered him an all expenses paid stay, flight car hotel, super lavish stuff. He took them up on it, went there and lost everything.
5. Wife knew me
I went to a bachelor party 30 years ago when my wife was 5 months pregnant. The guys called strippers, and it got ugly. I was having none of it, so I went downstairs to gamble. Some guys thought it would be fun to put the stripper’s panties in my suitcase. Good thing my wife knew me.
6. Awwww.
I had recently gotten out of a long term relationship that wasn’t nearly as monogamous as I thought it was.
One of my friends said I should take a trip to Vegas to take my mind off things and have a good time. She said she’d be the best wingman I’d even seen to make sure that I got laid as much as humanly possible.
We’re now married.
7. Cocaine
My manager bragged about outing an entire bachelor party (bachelor included) to their wives and girlfriends that they got hookers but he TOTALLY didn’t do it too. Asked some questions to dig a little deeper and it turns out his wife found his cocaine and instead of saying it was his he just spilled the juiciest dirt to her that he had and then she made him call all their girlfriends on speakerphone to tell them what happened. All of this …. told to me by my fucking boss. I work in accounting …
8. A KITTEN!!!!
Went to Vegas in 2011. Out in front of the MGM grand there’s a big lion statue. When we walked into the casino in the afternoon there was a small pack of stray cats by the statue, and I joked to my then girlfriend that they must think the big lion is one of them.
On the way out of the casino most of the cats were gone but there was a single all black kitten, maybe three or four months old, running around frantically. It was scared, wet, and had probably been left behind napping.
I came up to him and he was all over me. Yelling like crazy, rubbing up against me. Climbed right up my jacket onto my shoulders when I knelt down and was purring in my ears.
We took him to a local vet and he wasn’t chipped. Booked an appointment for the next morning to have him chipped, fixed, and registered because we were leaving the next evening.
I present: Leon. Named after the MGM Grand lion statue. The cat did not stay in Vegas. I like to tell people that he’s the only jackpot I won.
9. Weddings
I brought my then girlfriend with me when I was on a work trip, and that’s when she became my wife of the last 10 years. We ended up pretty well shit-faced and somehow landed in a little white chapel run by a tiny Asian woman who was more than happy to marry us.
The funny thing is, my wife was scared to tell her parents so we went they’ve with another wedding a year later. So I’ve now been married to the same person twice without ever being divorced.
10. Boring
I gave a boring talk at a boring conference. They recorded it and put it on the Internet. People around the world are now being bored to death.
11. Cheated
A former friend went to Vegas for a weeklong work conference, got stupidly drunk and cheated on his wife. During his time cheating he accidentally sent her proof he was cheating. Dude came back to a completely empty home, about half his bank account (she was fair about it)- all she left him was his clothes and his family keepsakes. He just quietly signed the divorce papers and changed careers, and moved across the country. Absolutely nobody in our larger friend’s group sided with him, and nobody remained his friend.
12. Escalating affairs
One of my buddies found out his wife was having an affair, so he arranged a guys trip to Vegas to get an escape from everything. When we were in Vegas we all got super hammered playing roulette and blackjack, went to a Hockey game and one of his former students (who was also intoxicated) professed her obsession over him and hit him with the old, “whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”
I don’t know if he hooked up with her, because I wasn’t with them. But they did disappear from the game together, and we couldn’t get a hold of him for a day. On the drive back he told us all he was going to forgive his wife and get into therapy to fix whatever issues led up to her having affair. They’re still married, and I don’t know if he told his wife or not about what happened in Vegas. But I’m pretty sure he hooked up with that girl, and I’m sure he told his wife about it, because he’s not allowed to go on boys trips to Vegas anymore.
13. Ouch!
Spent 10 years doing casino security.
Got a call one night for a fight in a room.
Guy had picked up a hooker at the bar and brought her to his room.
Not really clear what kicked off the arguement but hostilities insued. The hooker pulled out a scalpal and cut one of his balls off.
Actually now that I think of it this is more of a something staying in vegas story
14. Skimmed card
My credit card was skimmed at some gas station and a bank account was started in my name.
15. Broken bones
Last Vegas bachelor party a few years ago, a friend broke his ankle crossing a street. That certainly didn’t go away on monday
16. Star sighting
My wife and I went to Vegas while she was pregnant with our first kid. Terrible idea, she wasn’t up for a ton of walking and couldn’t drink, we had a couple little fights while on the strip. For whatever reason we kept running into Brian Posehn in various stores and casinos, I’m a fan but didn’t want to bug him so I didn’t talk to him or anything. I did make awkward eye contact with him a couple times. I can’t imagine what it looked like from his side but I’m sure we seemed like weird stalkers. Got a hilarious memory out of it though.
Brian, if you’re reading this we’re all good, two more kids and still happily married.
17. A baby
I am 99% sure I got my wife pregnant when we stayed at Bellagio last year.
18. Another baby!
Saint Patrick’s day 2010. My partner and I had our honeymoon in Vegas and got way to drunk and had unprotected sex in st patty’s day. Our first kid was born 9 months and 1 day after we got married. What happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.
19. Trauma
I know this very religious indian guy whose lifelong dream was to visit Las Vegas, so he booked a week in Vegas for him and his family (wife and 2 kids), he recounts that only after two days they were so traumatised of all the ungodly things they saw happening in the casinos and out in the streets… he came back to work swearing he’d never go back
20. Ending on a sweet one
My one time there I won enough in a single night to cover the entire trip, buy my girlfriend (now wife) a gift, and come home with over $800 in my pocket. This was 2011 and I think I burnt my entire supply of financial luck.
