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Former Virgins Share The Most Surprising Things About Their First Time Having Sex (20 Posts)

u/Shanstarjayne recently posted a question to the AskReddit community wondering:

“What surprised you the most about sex when you lost your virginity?”

And of course, the people of Reddit were forthcoming with some A+ material …and some excellent, honest answers. We’ve weeded through and gathered some of the best for you.

What do you think? What was something that surprised you about sex?

1. Less pleasure, but easy

My first time was much easier than i’ve been told, and less pleasurable than i thought it would be.


2. The sounds

The sounds that happen. Like the mac and cheese kind of noises among others I didnt know that was a thing and I didnt expect to like them so much.


3. The difficulty

I couldn’t get my god damn wiener in. I’m not saying I’m some giant penile dude. She was nervous about much foreplay and we were using condoms. I had like 3 first times because we had a few non-starts. In hindsight more foreplay and maybe some lube would have been invaluable.


4. No one warns women…

Positive: sex is fun and feels good.

Negative: urinary tract infections.



Oh God, I got a kidney infection after my first time. Had to go to ER. I’ve always had urinary tract problems growing up as a virgin so I throught it would just go away, because in the past they would clear up on their own. Not after my first time. I almost fainted in my study group and one of my college classmates had to drive me to ER. And turns out I had a full blown kidney infection it got so bad. Yeah, pee after sex people. Run to the bathroom afterwards if you have to. Also, I completely avoid missionary because that’s what would increase my chances of getting one.


6. Ow

and how much it hurts if you haven’t done enough foreplay


7. Nothing new

Nothing changed about me though I felt super guilty afterwards. Kinda like how on your birthday, you’re a year older, but you don’t feel any different.


8. The cleanup

Maybe TMI but the thing that surprised me the most was that after the guy finishes in you, it drips back out of you afterwards. I had never thought about it before or the cleanup needed.


9. The speed

First was how fast/hard the girl wanted me to do it. She was more experienced but my impression was that it should be slow and delicate and then ramp up. That was not the case, however, she wanted it like bang bang bang right away. And then I didn’t come because I was pretty nervous. I found out through more experience that being nervous and not coming was common for me with new or casual partners, but I have no issue completing the task once I’m more comfortable being intimate with the person.


10. Workout more

That my body didn’t move the way I wanted it to. Also that I should probably workout more.


11. RIP, brain

I didn’t know I was losing 60% of my critical thinking and reasoning skills through my penis, but as soon as it left, it never came back.


12. Geography

How far down the vagina was.


13. Lubricant

How wet everything is.


14. Nerves

How the guy being nervous can affect almost everything, and the second time is normally much better when everyone is relaxed. Definitely overhyped and felt like a ton of pressure and pain.



God, the amount of pressure we ascribe to it! It’s a status symbol to have sex, to be good at sex, to sex with the right partner(s), to not be too boring, to use the right positions….

Like, I wish someone would have just told me, “missionary is a staple for a reason. The emotional connection that you have with your partner is gonna be much, much more important than their social status or how attractive they are.” Like, don’t get me wrong– I was in my twenties and too arrogant to actually listen to any of the advice I clearly should have followed. But I wish someone would have said so all the same.


16. The connection

How awesome the hugging part of it is.


17. Performance

I thought I’d be better at. Ended up looking like a dead fish.


18. Cooperation

Well, we ended up alone and horizontal with this girl and I was very nervous about doing the right thing, starting with just sticking it the right place. No questions asked, she took my schlong in her hand and guided it straight where it belonged. I was like “wow, you can do that!!!”. Never saw anyone do it in porn.

That act of cooperation is something I remember most vividly from that day.


19. Mattresses are soft

Being on top as a guy is basically advanced planking when your hands sink 5 inches into the mattress.


20. The connection

How much closer it can bring you with someone you love. I thought that we were pretty close beforehand, but afterwards it was like we knew each other on a deeper level. Every look, touch, and kiss was suddenly just much more meaningful, and not just in a sexual way