There aren’t really that many good ways to wake someone up (at least not G-rated ways). Gently whispering in someone’s ear might be one of the better ones, but it’s still kinda annoying. If the waker happens to say something creepy to the wakee then it goes beyond being annoying to being annoying AND disturbing.
Redditor joey_upgrade asked the r/AskReddit community:
“What’s the absolute worst thing someone could whisper into your ear while you try to sleep?”
And the answers range from downright freaky to hilarious—some of them are even true stories.
When I got my wisdom teeth taken out the dentist whispered this before I went under.
‘Get some sleep, I’ve some bad news to give you in the morning.’
‘Get up, time to work’
I legit had an ex say to me “you look so peaceful when you sleep, I could kill you so easily.”
‘How can you sleep right now when you so obviously have to pee?’
Anything… I live alone.
‘I’m the world’s first talking spider.’
‘You won’t feel a thing…’
True story. I talk in my sleep. Sometimes I wake myself up. I’m having this dream that I am watching Sixth Sense. In my dream someone asks me what the kid says in the movie. In my dream I respond but wake my self up whispering in my boyfriend’s ear “I see dead people”. I was mortified but he was laughing. I laugh now but in the moment it was super eerie. I just knew he was gonna break up with me.
“I don’t like where you buried me.”
The cat just threw up somewhere on the bed.
“There’s someone in the living room.”
My husband did this, woke me up at 3 in the morning when he got home from a gig. Scared the sh-t out of me. Turns out he picked up someone on the side of the highway in a snowstorm. But he looked hungry, and the bus wasn’t due for three hours, so he brought him home to get warm.
‘This is the song that never ends…’
What my partner said in in her sleep a few years back.
“Did you see her?”
“Oh, sorry, wrong house”
Anything. I hate whispering, it makes me so uncomfortable.